Why Portugal Won't Win the World Cup

That picture pretty much sums it up. If you're backing Portugal to win the world cup, then you're backing a homo to win the world cup, and all this means you should just come out the closet. Portugal people are some of the nicest people on this planet. They work hard, they love to gossip and the girls are all sexy until they reach 35 when they start to pack it on. There's nothing wrong with Portugal the country, the soccer team now that's another story. Portugal people are loyal hardcore supporters. They are so loyal, as soon as their team gets eliminated from any tourney, they begin to cheer Brazil because they all speak the same language. If Brazil isn't in it then they all cheer Spain. They're more loyal than Tiger Woods.

It's the first of many reasons to hate Portugal. Every Portuguese teacher I ever had from grade school up was just a complete bitch. It's like they look hot from 18-30, then they get married and suddenly join the Americans in living off the McDonalds dollar menu. Some of these bitches on Dufferin and Bloor streets here in Toronto are so fucking fat they take up multiple seats on the bus. It's rush hour and buses are packed, everyone is standing up holding onto the railing, meanwhile there are fat ass Portuguese girls taking multiple seats on the bus because they're too fucking fat to sit on one seat. It's fucking terrible. Despite the fact that there are black Portuguese people, the ones here in Toronto are pretty fucking racist.

They've adopted the Italian style of play, if the wind blows a tad too hard they'll drop on the floor and play dead. With Nani (now injured) and Ronaldo, there are some unlikeable cunts on the team. Let's not forget, Jose Mourinho is also a Portuguese cunt who has such a big ego he's currently in the process of trying to marry himself.  They couldn't score a goal against fucking Ivory Coast who was without their best striker for most of the game. When I think of Ivory Coast I think of people with big ass earings that make their ear lobes hang and pirates running around the country looting from people's huts and stealing goats and shit. And they couldn't score a fucking goal against that African team that decided to stop civil war because Drogba told them so. 30+ years of fighting and they all stopped cause of Drogba, and these people drew Portugal. Fuck off, Italy you're next.

Recapping the night: Blah. I've estimated that I lost $600 in 3mins and 20secs of soccer gameplay today, the last minutes of 2 games. The Lakers game I called dead wrong but fuck a team that went from spitting on themselves and crawling on the floor, who knew they'd come back to LA and bend over. My account took a beating, hopefully things bounce back.
Soccer:

$300 Slovakia -200 (L)
$200 Portugal +125 (L)
$300 Brazil -2 -120 (L)
$100 Brazil/North Korea  10 or more corners -110= Return of $100 (P)
Basketball:
$100 Boston Celtics +240 (L)
$100 over 188 Celtics/Lakers (L)
Baseball:
$100 Reds +101 (L)
$100 White Sox -125= Return of $180 (W)
$200 Rays -125= Return of $360 (W)
$100 Cubs -130 (L)
$100 Cards -1.5 +125= Return of $225 (W)
$100 Texas Rangers +147= Return of $247 (W)
Play of the Day:
$500 Celtics +7 -110 (L)

Total Wagered: $2300
Total Returned: $1112
Total Loss: $1188
Total Earned to Date: 1844.66 (OUCH)

Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.