Top 20 Lies Part 2

Uni life has me busy so this one is going to be terrible but theraputic for me. Continuing from Saturday:

11) Jesus Died for our sins
I'm not crushing faith or God with this one, I have faith in God but what a load of crap this is. If God is all powerful then why the fuck would he send his kid to get slaughtered. Cmon Son, the Austrians invented this concept so people would continue believing in the Holy Roman Empire.

12) You need 8 glasses of water per day.
Another misconception. You need the equivalent of 8 glasses of water per day but you could get that in food or bay. 8 glasses is bullshit.

13) Mother Mary was a Virgin.
Cmon son again. Another lie made up by the homo Austrians. She was putting in work like every other chick out there but she was young and her parents would have beaten her ass so she made up the world's most brilliant lie: "God came to me in a dream and told me I'd have his son vicariously through this alcoholic bum ass carpenter Joseph who spiked my drink "

14) Hand-Sanitizer Prevents Sickness
It don't. A lie made up by Johnson and Johnson to get the sucka ass white people to buy that crap and believe it kills 99.9% of germs. You're going to get sick one way or another, if you're going to buy that Johnson and Johnson crap. Drink it and get tipsy, white people.

15) Black people like watermelon
I hate that shit. Fried chicken is another story.

16) Spinach Makes Your Penis Large.
While I have a massive cock, I'm convinced my mom used this as a scam to get me to eat spinach. I hated that shit and she kept telling me it's to get a big healthy penis, something to do with blood vessels. I don't think spinach had anything to do with my $5 footlong, what a lying ass bitch.

17 )What goes around comes around.
While I do believe in karma, in this life you have to bend/avoid rules to get what you want. The asshole mentality is the best way to go about this. However I hope karma doesn't fuck with me, if I have a daughter I'd slit my wrists. Odds on her becoming a hoe: -4000.

18) Aspartame is bad.
Addicted to it and I'm still healthy. My uncles have lived on that shit for years (both diabetic) and they were fine (though one did die at 49, no correlation though....I think)

19) Obama is a negro.
He's more white than the leader of the KKK, people who visit the Calgary Stampede, people who center their lives around Hockey Night in Canada combined.

20) Unicorns are fake.
Fuck that, I seen them a bunch of times. Get on that codeine and you'd be amazed at the wonders this world has if you just look hard enough.

Recapping the night: Sorry can't calculate (busy) and post it here but I'm up $250 over the weekend. Will post picks tonight.