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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Taking you back to last Week: Airports/Airplanes

I went from Toronto to Ottawa to Newark to Dublin to London to Dublin to Newark to Toronto. That is a shitload of flights and a bunch of airports. I hate to fly and before last week I had never been in a flight longer than 5 hours so this was always going to be a bad experience, first class all the way was expected to soften the blow, it didn't. After my latest flying experience I can trully say I hate another etnic group, Serbians. It's a 7 hour flight from Newark to Dublin and in those 7 hours I had this little 2-year old Serbian shithead named Darko kicking my seat over and over and over. He refused to wear his seatbelt, cried the entire way through, and when the flight attendant tried talking to him (because his parents were about as effective as rehab was on DJ AM) he just got up and kicked the shit out of my seat.

It took everything I had not to get up of my seat and beat the shit out of this little shithead. However the whole airport/airplane experience sucks harder than Laurence Fishburne's daughter (google Chippy D). Being stuck 3 hours in Newark is about as fun as getting a root canal. There is nothing to do but drink, so you cave in and hit the airport bar and pay the ridiculous $7.89 a pint. You get on the plane and you notice there is one hot chick and 3 homos who will be serving you today. You beg that the hot chick is serving First Class but you end up with the repulsive fag. You try to sleep and the Serbian shithead kicks your seat over and over while you hear his parents softly whisper "Darko please behave." Then you land in a foreign place and all of a sudden it's 7am in the morning when it's 2am back home. Just a fucked up experience.

There was only one thing that could have made the airport/airplane experience any fun: plane prostitutes. You hire 2 Asians and 3 Russian girls and create a few tiny little rooms within the plane. For an outrageous price (because I was getting desperate after the 3rd hour) you could take these hoes into the tiny rooms and fuck the shit out of them. Or get a blow/hand job. At this stage any price would be justified because pussy is about the only thing that could alleviate the horrors of flying. $300 for 30 mins. and I would have gladly taken that offer despite the crazy price. So TSA I hope your listening, bring pussy on the plane that is willing to fuck and there would be no such things as terrorists, terror from flying, or pissed off passangers.

Recapping the Night: Thought I had a 5-0 night, things quickly went sour.
MLB:

$200 Cards -130= Return of $353.33 (W) 
$200 Braves -120 (L)
$100 Cubs +140 (L)
$300 White Sox -140 (L)
Play of the Day:
$500 Rays -150= Return of $833.33 (W) 

Total Wagered: $1300
Total Returned: $1186.66
Total Loss: $113.34
Total Earned to Date: $2387.03

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

4 comments:

BC101 said...

hahahaha nice picture of Air Canada 747 having an accident LOL. I didn't even know AC used to have those LMAO.

haha was the Serb a kid or a grown ass man?

BronxBomber said...

a little 2 year old shithead.

Mackdaddy73 said...

Hey JJ, nice to see your blog back, was missing my morning read as it beats anything in the shitty ass news. That shit depresses me too much, hope you don't itch too much LOL!!!

BronxBomber said...

glad to be back though the next few days your going to have to wait til noon to get the blog fix. summer school in University is worst than aids. fucking useless but I gotta waste my time on BS. I think I should move to your neck of the woods and collect oil sands or some shit LOL