Being Mindfucked by Topanga

Everybody remember Topanga from Boy Meets World? If you don't click here so you could grasp what I'm going to say. My friend and I hit the pub on Saturday night for UFC 118 (which sucked asshole by the way). Nearing the end of the night we both meet a chick, one who looks like the link you just clicked. She introduces herself as Sonya (just what I need, another Euro bitch) and we shake hands. Only one problem, it's a well known fact I got soft hands. All I do is wank, no hard labour, not much to use my hands for besides jerking my cock so don't give hard handshakes. Topanga's drunk broken down ass (she was with a negro who was definitely going to get some that night) decides to relate my soft handshake to my sexual orientation. She is convinced I'm bi-sexual/homo/Adam Lambert/gay/whatever. No biggie, little Miss Humpty Dumpty butt is joking around (I think?) for like 15 mins thinking I'm bi-sexual and keeps asking me to seek help, I'm sober (I think) so I think nothing of it. Then the gin and tonic kicked in.

So now I'm walking home, about an 8 minute walk from the pub to my house and I can't help but think about Topanga's strong belief that I'm a faggot. Her evidence being the weak handshake and she sees me as the type that is so "into myself." During the walk, I decided to have a convo with myself which was sort of like the shit you see on cartoons, a devil and angel are both on my shoulder giving me conflicted evidence to assess whether I'm gay or not. Angel says " you've never touched cocked, kissed a dude, gotten butt raped, fucked someone from the ass, listen to gay music or wear skinny jeans." Score 1 for JJ not being gay. Then the devil kicks in " Well, you do watch porn about 8 times a day, don't you think all that cock you see, subconsciously fucks with your mind" So now there is evidence on both worlds (no pun intended)

As I'm walking I stumble upon a house party and get wasted, I come home, fully convinced I'm not a faggot, then I turn on Jersey Shore. Wait what? See what I mean, everytime I convince myself that I'm not gay, I do something that is questionable. After Jersey Shore ends, it's about 4am, and I decide to pop in the dvd of Six Feet Under (a show I'm now getting into) 17mins into the 54 minute episode, these two fags start kissing. Fuck me I can't escape the gay shit. After soul-searching for an hour, the mindfucking stop and I come to the conclusion I am not gay, I was never gay, and I will never be gay. However, Topanga's bootleg ass really mindfucked me. But to make sure I took the gay test. gay test here and it told me I was 15% gay (guessed on the Liza Minelli question) and it said I don't have a gay bone in my body. So despite the inevitable comments,emails, and Topanga's fucked up thought process, I AM NOT GAY because the certified gay test from a gay ass web site, told me so......( I hope)

Recapping the Night: This is gay
Baseball:

$200 Yankees/White Sox over 9.5 -110 (L)
$200 Rays -140= Return of $342.86 (W)
$200 Padres +100 (L)
$200 Dodgers +106 (L)
$200 Nationals/Cards over 7.5 -105 (L)
$200 Marlins -105 (L)
Play of the Day
$400 Tigers +115= Return of $860 (W)

Total Wagered: $1600
Total Returned: $1202.86
Total Loss: $397.14
Total Earned to Date: $3041.71

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.