The Most Fucked Up Day Ever

Friday night was a blur, I really don't remember shit. I remember just hanging with some Sri Lankans and a Vietnamese dude and a guy who is white but wants to be Sri Lankan, I get home at like 3am and pass out. Then Saturday happened. 

I had a conference call scheduled for 7am which was perfect cause I'd be up in time for the Manchester Derby. Speaking of which, if you're in the UK support my shit, I got an article in F.U.B. magazine or some shit, it's 3 pounds and I hear shit is selling fast. I'll post a link once I get my copy and see what the fuck I wrote in it. Back to the story so I'm supposed to be up at 7am for business, I get up, still wasted at 1pm. I look in the mirror for about 10 minutes and say to myself "fuck sakes I'm going to have to start paying for the box soon enough." My mom's yelling at me and shit for being drunk but see I know my mom has been taking Mickeys from my stash for her bullshit Caribbean parties. So She's going on and on and then I say "ya well that's cool but what about you sneaking in my alcohol to your parties." She shut up real quick. Then things got fucked. 

I dug myself a hole in a convo I was having with someone. I accidentally said something I shouldn't and then she asked a rhetorical question and I answered. Fuck. Then I'm going through emails and one chick is pissed off and I think it's me, thankfully it wasn't lmao. All this is happening and my boy Cheeba hit's me up "There's a banana somewhere around your house." and he tells me I fell out of a car and rolled down the driveway the night before. I'm thinking fuck, I have to find this banana cause there's probably other shit there that I don't want anyone to see. I'm outside in like -10 degrees in a tee and shorts while it's snowing and I'm looking for a fucking banana. 5 minutes later, there it was, along with my drivers license. The fucking banana was like pink, I didn't even touch that shit. I get back in the house and then my boy Foreskin hits me up. The day just got more fucked up. 

See Foreskin has a friend from highschool who kinda disappeared. The guy actually went missing for a while. Years later, Foreskin, who has always been searching for this friend, found him. Today's the day foreskin went to see him. But before that, it's 3pm and I'm still wasted and Foreskin is all paranoid because this friend apparently is fucked and doesn't keep in contact with civilization and lives out deep in the hood and doesn't own a cellphone and could very well be living in a tent in the woods. Foreskin is all scared and shit thinking this guy could turn on him, I don't know what happened but Foreskin as of 2 hours ago was still alive. 

Fast forward to about 6pm. I'm starving, hadn't eaten in like 30 hours and no one is home. The car is blocked in by some other car. I don't even know whose car that is on my driveway but I've never seen it. So now I can't leave and I decide to order Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is up to some real fucked up shit. A nigga wanted a PZone and 5 fucking wings. But Pizza Hut don't put prices next to their shit online, so you have to add it to the cart. I see potatoes and shit and before you know it my cart says $50.71. Fuck off, I cancel all that shit and called it in, the delivery guy looked  worse than I did which says something. A PZone and 5 fucking wings cost me just over $20 but I was so hungry it didn't even matter. It tasted like ass though but at least I ate something.

Here's some more fucked up shit. Years ago I was drunk in a hotel and one thing led to another and I ended up peeing on a chick. Now before you start to judge, we're from Scarb. it may be a Scarborough thing but out here we give golden showers when we can. We don't even hide it, one of my boys been peeing on the leg of his chick for like the past 4 years trying to get her to take it (haha I hope she ain't reading) it's just something we do out here when the opportunity is right. Years ago R.Kelly made his sex tape and he pee'd on her and we must have been like 8 years old thinking damn, that's how you know you made it, when you pee on a chick. So I'm talking to my Ohio chick and I know she's a freak and today, because of the hangover I'm all pissed off on some "fuck the world type shit." I flat out say "hey I'm being serious, when I see you can I give you a golden shower." No response for like 2 minutes and I'm thinking yup, there we go I fumbled it. Her response "deal." 

Now I'm in a good mood and I know a chick in Toronto who might be down for the same thing. I ask the exact same question and her response "ummm I thought about it and I think it'd be something I'm willing to try." I swear on my motherfucking life, on February 12th 2011 2 different girls told me I could piss on them, I swear you can't make this shit up and as demeaning as it sounds they are both great chicks who always been there for me, they ain't heaux. Well they are but they mean more to me just than a toilet lmao. So now I'm thinking my heart can't take it anymore, today's just been fucked. So what do I do? While you dudes were watching Chris Paul vs Derrick Rose, Hornets vs Bulls tonight, I watched a chick-flick with a chick. The worst part of it all, she told me how she'd scream his name if the main character was fucking her like he was doing in the sex scene. The bad part about all this is I actually enjoyed the movie. I need help, peace.


NBA:
$400 Spurs -3 -110 (L)
$500 Clippers/Cavs over 206.5 -110= Return of $954.55 (W)
$400 Bucks/Grizzlies over 181.5 -110 (L)

Play of the Day:
$600 Trailblazers -3 -115= Return of $1121.74 (W)

Total Wagered: $1900
Total Returned: $2076.29
Total Profit: $176.29
Total Earned to Date: $16866.45

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Ugh

Ya I just woke up, still wasted from last night. No way am I making any picks under this condition. Fuck both the ncaa and nba tho. If you have anything, please post it. And we won the derby, fuck Manchester City. Peace.

The System Fails Us Again

Today I was sitting here watching Jerry Sloan in tears because some shithead kid from Parkersburg, West Virgina says he has to go. The guy worked for decades and was left in tears because the 21st century is all bout money. Then I think about instances in my own private life and it's the same shit, everything is about materialism, wealth, and value. Which is fine but it's never about the self. It's always in comparison or relation to something else. That's what this world has become, the fakest fucking constructed reality based on a comparison to someone(thing) else. We've lost all hope, all creativity, everything is filtered, constructed and manufactured in a way of what corporations or people who are in power "think" we might like. They dictate and decide everything and yet we buy into it. 

Individualism is slowly becoming a myth, everything we do is for the approval of others, self-worth doesn't matter anymore. No body has a clue what they're worth anymore because the work is already done for you. Most of us are measured by facebook friends, twitter followers, and other means of communication but how many of those motherfuckers would be there when you're beaten down, broke and starving and need help. All that shit is fake, most of the motherfucking world is fake. Everything is watered down, simplified, and fed to us like we're fucking children and everyday there's a Jerry Sloan, the last of a dying breed that has to be sacrificed for the system with more flaws than Tiger Woods' relationships. Have you ever though about what you as an individual is worth? Not adding friends or social networks or even family into the equation. 

I've met people in this world who've been shit on by pretty much everybody. Who aren't considered shit because they've been bystanders to the materialistic success of others. They've been chewed up and spit out and left with virtually nothing. You know what those people are doing right now? Pre-fuckin med at colleges I could only dream of attending. When you got nothing left and all you have is your bare fucking hands, it's the best possible thing that could happen to you. People chase money and the most unhappy, pretentious fucks in this world are the richest. Ask them about their lives though and you'd be able to see that there's no correlation between materialism (wealth) and happiness. We've become so programmed, so constructed that we fail to see what's real. So then when people do realize their self-worth and do realize what they've become it comes as a surprise. We're all fucking capable of making change. We're all fucking capable of saying fuck people let's do our own thing. But talking it and doing it is two completely different things. I saw someone actually do it. The person woke the fuck up and did what was best for that person. It's an amazing transition I'll never be able to describe but even better is the fact that we all have it in us, we just chose not to use it. Thank you to the assholes who allow people to stop thinking, acting, and doing what's best for themselves because without individualism, the world is such a great fucking place right now, as you can already tell. 

NBA:
$300 Celtics -2 -110 (L)
$500 Warriors/Suns over 218 -110 (L)
$300 Mavs +3 -115= Return of $560.87 (W)
$400 Lakers/Celtics over 187.5 -110 (L)

NCAA:
$300 Florida St. -1 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$500 Wright St/Butler over 128.5 -110= Return of $945.55 (W)
$300 Penn St./Michigan over 128.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Valparaiso -7.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$500 Jacksonville St. -110 (L)
$300 Denver -1 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$500 Illinois +2 -110= Return of $945.55 (W)
$500 Cali/Washington over 154 -110= Return of $945.55 (W)

Play of the Day:
$600 UConn -1.5 -110 (L)

Total Wagered: $5300
Total Returned: $5688.44
TOtal Profit: $388.44
Total Earned to Date: $16690.16

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Bigger Failures than Khloe Kardsahian

I know a few Canada border guards but I don't care, y'all are fucked. See when you think about border guards you have to admit that even the nicest one is mediocre. Canadian border guards are just mediocre ass people with real ordinary ass lives, nothing too pathetic, nothing too exciting, just dull and shit. Who wants to spend 80 years on this earth being the guy with that sort of life, no failures, no success, just "there." That's the definition of a border guard, I'm just "there" and I'll be there til I die. If they were losers they'd be security guards or mall patrol, if they were winners they'd be cops. It's almost like God said fuck em and Satan said fuck em, the forgotten ones. 

 Going to Vegas I had no problem. I see her rough exterior and I just break it down. "Hey mam you look real nice." It's some big black woman with a southern accent and she has this nasty ass smile. She responds with " you got any food on you I smell something." Truthfully I had nothing on me but I smelt Fried chicken so I said "Let me guess you got fried chicken underneath your desk, can I get some?" " Her response, "nah but I wish I did, don't lose too much money baby and have a great time in Vegas." Why couldn't all big black ladies with southern accents be like that. Here I am, before what would turn into a 23 hour, sleepless, insane journey and I'm all happy and shit because of the big black lady. Such a small thing makes such a big difference, God bless America....Canada not so much. 

See my boy had warned me they were going to ask me some fucked up shit but I kind of just said fuck it I can't see them being that bold. I arrive back in Canada, it's 8pm on a Monday. To be honest I saved about $800 flying with a connection but I'm starting to think it wasn't worth it, even when I didn't miss anything I went from Vegas to Houston to Toronto and it was tiring as fuck. Only a 2 hour journey longer than the 4.5 direct flight would have been but I get to Toronto, it's cold and I start seeing  a smelly ass Sri Lankan and shit and all I can think of is "here we go." I get to customs and that's when it all fell apart. Where did you go? "Vegas." What did you do " gamble and watch the superbowl."  What do you do for a living. "Nothing, I'm a student." Who funded your trip. Alright so I had enough, I sucked it up (no homo) and showed incredible restraint but trust me, had I missed my flight in Houston and arrived in Toronto 5-12 hours later, things would have gone south. I told him my parents paid for it, which they didn't and he let me through. 

What in the flying fuck gives you the right to ask me how I paid for my motherfucking trip. I was ready to start quoting shit like the British North American act of 1867 and the Bill of Rights and shit even though I know nothing about either of them just to mindfuck him. I was fucking pissed off. You're a motherfucking border guard, ask me if I'm smuggling cocaine, ask me if I'm coming back with a supply of guns. Search my motherfucking asshole if you feel fucking suspicious but asking me how I funded my trip, what the fuck does that have to do with anything. Really, I know the right answer to the question but how does this fucking mediocre asshole want me to answer it? Should I tell the faggot "hey I sell drugs and I'm a pimp, that's how I got to Vegas." What the fuck does it matter what I do for a living and what the fuck does it matter how I paid for my trip, that has nothing to do with you letting me in my country you fucking idiot, eat your Maple Donut from Tim Hortons, search my shit and leave me the fuck alone. Canadian border guards are like Khloe Kardasians to the world, no one cares about them but they're just there because someone much bigger and better told them they had to be there. Do your job and make the world a better place by deporting those who can't speak english.

Will post picks sometime during the day, adjusted numbers and shit already, let's get it.

The Trip That Was

I'm still not myself but getting better, let's try this tonight. I can't speak on everything haha but I'll do my best to give you the details I can. Amazing time. Shout out to Slick, Leland, Sheldog, Jaz, Gabriel Morency, Richard Garner, Pieman, GM, Jorge Gonzalez, Teddy Covers, T-Bone and anyone I missed. Let's go. 

Philly and Cops:

Philadelphia, you suck. Such a beaten city, I fucking hate you. I missed my connection because of a delay in Pearson. So the chick, black starts laughing as she prints out my ticket. I couldn't take it. I just say "Fuck you and your weave." Another employee pulled me away, white girl, go figure, gives me a ticket that would see me out of Philly and tells me don't take her on. Next thing I got cops in Segways and this black bitch wants me arrested. White girl took my side, I'm on a plane to Phoenix. Fuck you Philly. 

White Girls:

I give y'all a tonne of love but man I'm starting to change my mind. A trillion hours later I'm in Phoenix and it's 12:30am. Haven't eaten since Monday and nothing is open in the airport. I lay my bag on the seat and try to sleep. For starters, Phoenix sucks too, it's impossible to sleep. Every 30minutes there is an announcement of leaving your bag unattended. So I'm sleeping for 30mins and CNN is on tv. So I'm sleeping next to this middle aged white girl. CNN announces Borders is closing 150 stores and going bankrupt, this bitch, while I'm sleeping yells "OH NO This is Terrible." I woke right up. I'm like, mam do you work at Borders. "No I just shop there once a week" Everytime she slept I kicked the fuck out of her chair so it'd rattle to where she was sleeping. When she got up I'd pretend to sleep or say "what was that?" Her reply: "they're probably testing for terrorists." Fucking unreal.

Vegas: 

Beaten down Wednesday. Lost more than I could ever anticipate, had a few dollars left over. It was bad, started replacing meals with Sunflower seeds, started riding public transport and drinking Bud. Friday, lost a little and things were still bad. Saturday, I slept 18 hours on Saturday, missed the UFC, cashed every motherfucking ticket I laid and I was back in action. Sunday, cashed 3 tickets in the morning, missed the UFC but thanks to an inside tip I made back just about every dollar I lost. Thing that sucks is I was broke til Sunday then all of a sudden when Gabe leaves I'm drinking Razzarittas and just about everything that wasn't the $14 dollar Vodka bottles I was drinking during the week. 

Miscellaneous: 

-felt the thighs of a Playmate/Lingerie Bowl athlete...fucking steel. Those Playboy models were amazing. Looks and personalities were great, intelligent, sexy and we were too beaten to attend the after party that we were invited to. Imagine that, so beaten down you can't even attend parties with girls on the cover of Playboy.

-when coming back they stopped the belt which my bag was on. Lets just say there were many things that could have fell in, I was sweating bullets, the guy says "you're free to go sir" and grabs some deaf dude and pulls him aside. Lucky me. 

-Lingerie bowl = 100000x better than the Superbowl, especially when you got VIP seats. I can't explain it, what a game, hot ass chicks who the each other and beating the fuck out of each other. Unreal. 

-Celebs that were spotted: Charles Barkley, Rampage Jackson,  Steven Seagull.Too many other MMA guys to name.

- Gray Maynard is fucking class, had a blast with the dude on Thurs. and Friday.

- Melvin Guilliard aka Young Assassin is a bitch who got his body guard to tell me I was too close to him at a craps table. Who the fuck cares about your bitch ass, I was trying to win money and didn't understand the game. Hope the fucker loses his next fight.

-Woke up one morning to a bin filled with shit and diapers, I was kicking down doors and shit so I guess my neighbours were pissed.

-The Luxor was great, they tolerated us haha and things could have gone south many times.

-Goat sniping was out in full effect. 

This blog sucks doesn't do justice to what went down but it'll do, I'll try to adjust numbers and post picks tomorrow, emphasis on try, still beaten down but loads better from yesterday. I ain't even re-reading it so if it's filled with mistakes and you're upset then eat a dick with spam and olives. I'm out, Peace.

no blog

ya there's no way in hell i'm blogging. im dying here haha. Toronto to Philly, missed my connection, Philly to Chicago for a pit stop, Chicago to Phoenix, Slept on an airport seat for literally 30mins cause the cleaning crew came out, 8 hours later go on a flight to Vegas. I left for Vegas 11:30am on Tuesday morning. I arrived in Vegas 7:35 am Wednesday morning. 6 days later im back here, a lot of people called me on Friday with the whole Rage thing and me in the studio etc. Let's just say I made most of it back. Minor incident with the cops in Philly had me pissed and I went hard as fuck on Thursday. I'm doing well tho, I lost, had the time of my life and the Lingerie bowl was the best thing ever. I'm doing as good as I can, sweating  and I cant even type. I'll blog when I can, no picks for a bit I think, worn out, peace.

Earlier Flight To vegas for free to do cocaine and heroin with strippers

back in a week. Superbowl (2500 steelers +3, 800 under 46) peace