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Thursday, May 15, 2014


At 6:20 every morning I wake up, look outside, then proceed to run at least a mile. It's part of my daily routine, something I have to often convince myself to do but everytime I do it I feel great. Then I'll shower, change, make breakfast, watch an episode of the Office and head out the door. Get in the Versa and I'm on my way. I work 20km from home, which is a 30 minute drive in rush hour. While I'm driving I only have one thought in my head, god, please don't grant me with any children that want to be dickheads for a living. That's my biggest nightmare, something I dream about regularly. Imagine having kids, raising them as best you could and then at 21 they decide they want to get on stage and suck and fuck inflatable penises. Surely it ain't the parents fault. Surely this is just a result of a child being a fucking dickhead. I know I lived wrong a lot of my life but I sure as fuck don't deserve this headache if I ever have kids. 

See here's the thing with Miley, she never got to experience the heaux stage of her life. All her life she had to maintain that clean cut image of being Hannah Montana and she was never able to fully be a teen. At 16 years old she wasn't fingered in the back of the theatre like most girls her age. She ain't get to cheat on her teen boyfriend with a dude from college because she was too busy pleasing the Family Channel. In a way I get it, she missed out on some prime years where you, as a female, get to experience being used in exchange for an inflated self esteem. Most teens go through it but she didn't. 

So I'd understand if she hopped a few boyfriends, did a few minor drugs, had a few nip slips in public. It'd all make sense, she's just re-living her teens the right way. I'd understand if she had a few crazy outfits and a few drunken nights on the town. But this bitch is taking it too far. Why the fuck are you sucking an inflatable penis in front of little girls you sick Mccaulay Culkin looking fuck. No one said don't be a heaux, but you're performing in London in front of a million impressionable girls and you're out there riding inflatable cocks and playing with yourself. Fuck outta here Miley Cyrus, you dumb cunt. It ain't the parents fault in this case, no parent can ever fuck up so bad to make their child want to come out and ride a floating cock. No parent is that bad. Miley Cyrus is just the epitome of a dickhead and I hope with all the will in my body, my future child is nothing like a dickhead. My weak heart can't take it. Inshallah


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