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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

What it means to die

Without getting into too many details because I don't care to discuss the specifics, I know a few people dying. Dying as in they got a few months and they'll be gone. My favourite girl in the world, Lana, told us we were born to die. However we're human and we've mastered the art of distracting ourselves from reality. I got 90k tweets and I'll admit today, most of them are to distract myself from some shit I avoid. Whether it's long term or short term, I distract myself and you do as well. You can't really distract yourself when death comes knocking on the door, all you  have is a clock that is running out.

I try to put myself in this position, having gone through this before with a loved one, I wouldn't wish this on Hitler. It's mental torture to the highest degree in such a manner words can't ever describe it. Knowing a loved one is dying and feeling that helplessness wreaks all throughout my body, I haven't gotten over it and never will. Deep down I realize human beings are just filled with bullshit. Everything is okay. I went through sleepless nights because my ass got fired but 2 weeks later I was back on my feet making more money I ever seen. We don't trust us and when our backs are against the wall we want to compare ourselves to others, I mastered this as well. When my back is against the wall I'm thinking of all the people who fucked up before me trying to console myself, cause I'm a pussy.

Everything is okay. Life is beautiful. We live in a world with amazing waterfalls, light, honey badgers, sex, everything is within a plane ride. Tomorrow if I wanted I can ride a donkey, isn't that fucking cool? But we fail to see it because we're insecure pussies incapable of facing the truth. We knew at 5 years old we weren't going to last on this world forever. It's a mental agreement we made a long time ago, shit we got no choice. As hard as it is, I'm going to enjoy life more. I'm going to value people more, even Donald Sterling. Who knows how long this attitude will last but I need it and so do you, you weak bitches. We need life, we need each other, we're not different. Everything is okay. Your exams will pass, your failed relationships will teach you valuable lessons, and hopefully you learn more about yourself and make your life a meaningful one. Or end up bitter like Nancy Grace. Don't make tomorrow count, just realize you're okay and your bitch ass isn't in this alone, the feelings you feel, the emotions you face, the failure and success, it's universal. Inshallah.

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