Things That Make Me Say What The Fuck

I got 34 minutes to fire this one off before I got to do shit for the Nuggets/Thunder game so here goes a quick one. Today I'm watching news and I just kept saying " What the Fuck" over and over and over. Like being in complete awe at some of people's actions. Here are some things over the course of time that has made me say what the fuck. Oh before I got into it, check this email I got after I texted her a drunk email LMAO:

"I hope you had a great time buttt you might need to translate what you sent in this message, i understood hmm certain parts of it after i sat down and analyzed what you might have meant but I still need some help with it." 

hahahahahahaahahahaha real tears, the email went along something like this " htwjkjwakj wejwejkwejkw"

1) The Lady on the news who took a day off for the Royal Wedding.

What benefit does this give you. She said she'd lose a day's wage for the Royal Wedding. Will this make you happier? Seeing 2 fucked up people who were probably cousins get married. Spending over 64 million and probably having the most boring missionary sex for the rest of their lives. You lost a day's wage to witness this shit, what the fuck. 

2) People who eat Nutella. 

The fuck is wrong with y'all. That shit is chocolate on toast. I don't give a fuck what the nutritional facts label says, that shit is going to cause cancer and aids and everything else. My brother lives off this shit, it's chocolate that you're supposed to put on toast, what the fuck. 

3) People who bitch about world hunger.

A few weeks back I just finished a meeting and I got Teriyaki from one of those food court malls because I was starving. Now these re those places where they give you a shitload of rice. I eat what I can but I had a shitload of white rice left cause that shit causes all sorts of diseases so I tossed it. There's a lady at the trash can telling me about world hunger. Listen you heaux, World Hunger is because of irresponsible governments who are fucking around. There are enough resources in this world to feed everyone. In Africa where those children are starving, there are people who neglect to feed them poor kids. General Electric recently got a 3.2 billion dollar tax return from the government, leave me the fuck alone and bother someone else. Don't impose your will on my life, I'll waste all the fucking food I want to, it's my money, I paid for it, and the world has no problems of food shortages, they have a problem with economic manupulation. 

4) People who still fuck with Snoop Dogg:

Snoop Dogg's latest song. Fucking pathetic. 

5) Girls who say they don't fart.

Nigga please, you'd die, drop it. I've met girls who have convinced themselves they have never farted. " Oh I may have farted when I was 8 years old but since then I can't remember it. I burp a lot." The thing is, they were dead ass serious like in their heads they have never farted. Twisted and wrong, everyone does it you faggots. 

6) People in culinary school.

I've watched a few shows and know a few people in their. One pretty standard assignment is to eat a pig or cow or some shit, cooked well done etc. Their job is to guess what the animal ate before death. Dead ass serious if you could tell then the meat was done proper. What the fuck.

7) People who addicted to cigarettes.

Don't you see the pictures of people's lungs and shit on that package, how the fuck can y'all still smoke a pack a day knowing that in a few years your insides look like that.

8) People who ride smart cars.

The fuck wrong with you twisted motherfuckers. Y'all look like ass and won't accomplish anything in life. 

9) Jared the Subway guy.

This motherfucker, and others claim to lose weight after eating Subway daily. Everything on that motherfucking menu, all those 6 grams of fat options taste like ass. The only things worth buying is the Meatball Sub, Cheesesteak, Pizza Sub, or BBQ Ribs. All that shit is well over 1000 cals, if you eating Veggie Delights daily from Subway then you're a loser in life. 

10) The folks that threaten suicide.

If you're going to do it, don't just talk about it. Do it. Get up on the ledge and jump. No one gives a fuck about you if you're just going to consistently talk about it. Real folks say fuck that, get up on the bridge and jump. I know someone threatening to run his car into a truck everyday. If you were really going to do it, it would have been done already. So do it or shut the fuck up, pussy.

10 minutes to spare, Peace.