Muslim Girls Won.

I've been getting lots of emails and stuff so let me just say this. I've been studying for this psychology exam for weeks now, my brain is fried. After tomorrow, I have one more exam, which finishes on the 26th. Which means yes, for all you ragers coming in for the UFC. I will be at St. Louis Bar and Grill on the 28th. Let me tell you, I haven't had a drink in weeks, I haven't had a good spliff, well yes I had but still. I haven't had any "Roddy White" since Vegas. On the 28th, I'm going as hard as I possibly can. Yankee fitted, come say what's up. I'll be pretty out of it though, it's circled on my calendar. When I'm done with that shit I want to look like those people on Intervention. Let me know if you plan to come through, Road Rages are fucking amazing. It's at 313 Bremner blvd. for those wondering and kicks off at 8pm. Porn stars will indeed be in attendance and I'm not exaggerating.

So shorty is withholding sex from me cause well I don't really know why. Oh ya, I told her " your bitchy ways don't work on me." Since then she hasn't given it up since and when I ask, she says " Sorry I'm protesting." So I've been thinking of ways to get it back because trust me, she got that good box. She's always so fucking horny too. Anyways I decided to talk to her Muslim friend. I was just bored and it's 3am and the chick is in Dubai so I just wanted to have a conversation with her. After that conversation I just want to let it be known, if there is any girl reading this and I've had any sort of relationship with you over the past year. With the exception of CEO chick, my relationships with everyone else is officially over. Y'all ain't shit. CEO chick I still love you though even though you got that problem with whis..., nevermind.

Everytime we go out, there's always a Muslim chick around who is sitting with her white friends and shit. We always neglect the Muslims because they got that hidden box, who the fuck knows what's down there? But it's 3am and I'm thinking fuck it, I'm going to ask this chick about her life, I want to know what that box is like and how could I get to it. Bad news first, the only way you get to a Muslim girl's box is if you marry her. She might suck you off if you're engaged but if you want to hit it, you have to be her husband, they wait it out. So that's the bad news which I discovered first. Then came the good news....

Her box has been waxed everyday as she prepares for her first time. When I asked her about the pain her response was " oh well, it's worth it for myself." Secondly I straight up asked, would you be conservative sexually. She said she'd be willing to do almost anything her husband was willing to try. I put that theory to test: " If I was your husband, could I pee on you." " If you wanted to try, I'd be more than willing." Alright so I'm thinking wow. Now let's ask again " Would you be tossing my salad?" She had to google it and returned with " yes." The only think you can't do with her is anal and threesomes, something about it being against her religion and she ain't down with either.

So let's do the math. Asian girls are like KIAs, they suck and only a certain amount of people drive them. Spanish girls are like minivans, efficient and comforting but won't ever last forever. Black girls are like public transport, only the lowest of the low use them. White girls are like SUVs or luxury cars and shit, amazing until you realize you don't need the unnecessary shit that comes with it. Then you have Muslim Girls, they are like a fucking private Jet, that G6 shit.

They got money cause she from Dubai. They got the most perfect box ever because it's untouched and perfectly clean just waiting for you. She's willing to do whatever with you (except anal and threesomes) so long as you wait. They are the most loyal Taliban heauxs ever because Allah told them to be loyal, they won't ever cheat and fuck around so you don't got to worry about that. So why rush around and drive all these cars when I could wait and have a G6? Who needs y'all when those Muslim girls are just waiting, box prepared and I just need to wait for it, it's too easy. Currently reciting this my niggas, get with it: The Key to Muslim Box.

Peace.