What Dudes Want in A Girlfriend

I fucking hate everyone. Someone came through with some bruschetta today so I ate it. Now my stomach is on a course of its own. Fuck all y'all healthy faggots. I got drunk the other day while working and part of my job is freelance writing so I was doing some research and saw this: Stupid Ass Article

It was about why men are happy with their girlfriend and blah blah blah. Here's the real reason why men want a girlfriend, dont be fooled by those stupid magazines. 

1) The Future 

If there is no hope in hell of having some sort of future with you, an extended prison sentence I like to call it, then there's no fucking point in getting a girlfriend. 

2) Sex on Demand.

The real reason dudes get girlfriends is basically for the random blowjob. You're having a good day, you're having a bad day, when it's all said and done all a dude wants to do is get blowed. Having someone there to constantly blow you goes a LONG way in life. Trust me men will do anything to get that girl to give him sex on demand. 

3) Food

I know how to cook and I could hold my own but fuck I look like slaving in the kitchen when it's what you were born to do. Every dude wants a warm ass meal now and then, a meal that they didn't have to pay for and one where they don't have to make it themselves. Learn how to cook and you'll have a dude in no time. 

4) Attention

A dude doesn't like attention, but now and then he needs it. He needs to feel significant. I don't know why really but trust me a dude likes to feel like the shit. Girls could make that happen. Other dudes complimenting dudes would just be gay so once again, make that dude feel like King Kong and you're good.

5) Understanding

A dude will never understand another dude, that's for the faggots. A chick might understand a guy. I saw might because as individuals we try to be as complicated as possible. If you could somehow "understand" a dude, you're in. I met 10000 people in my life and I could only think of 3 people that understand me, life's complicated. 

6) To Kill the Boredom.

Fuck you going to do all day? Play ps3 and watch sports. Having a chick slices the boredom in half. You get sex, and hmmmmmmmm more sex. 

7) We exploit females. 

Don't get it confused ALL men exploit females. Nothing better than having a chick eating out your hand (while it lasts). It's that feeling that men want, to take advantage of someone manipulating them with power, control, and an ability to act like they don't give a fuck. 

That's 7 reasons, I could do more but my stomach is FUCKED and then writing this blog I realized how I hate some people in my life LMAO so I'm trying to be nice. Y'all be safe and pray that I win the lottery so I don't have to keep pretending I want a job. I'm out, peace.