Out Indefinitely

Motivation just isn't there right now. I'd bore you with the details but the summer been crappy. Then while in Mexico I got the scare of my life with a friend who had been taken ill. Since then she's doing better but that rattled me, along with a gazillion deaths that occurred this summer. Then some more bullshit I had to deal with in the Spring, the motivation to put something of substance just isn't there right now. I been "faking" it for a while. My cousin in ICU kind of fucked me up, then Jukesy hit me hard, the death of my friend Rendell hit me harder, then Mexico happened and it's like damn, just can't do it anymore, for the moment anyway. Picks and stuff remain the same. I'm looking for a job come December so if any of y'all need anything in public relations, journalism or writing in general, holla lmao. I'll blog when I need more money or box in my life lmao. Thanks for all the love and support. 

Before I leave I need y'all to check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPVTl9K0lqc

Busy

No blog for a bit I got NFL shit going on lmao.

Recapping Mexico- Day 2 and 3

Cheeba's Music Corner: Beanie Sigel- Man's World

This is when the trip really started to take off. Let's begin by saying 99% of drugs are legal in Mexico in small amounts, that means that 99% of drugs in Mexico are shit. I woke up Sunday morning and was like fuck, United play Arsenal. I head to soccer bar down the street in my old Danny Welbeck jersey. Everybody in that motherfucker was wearing a Chicarito jersey and once I walked in they were all like "whoa, Welbeck, this guy must be hardcore." There we made a deal to drink the number of times United score (so first goal -1shot, 2nd goal-2 shots) and so forth. United won by a fucking score of 8-2. I dont think anyone in that bar went past the 5th goal, I could barely last the 90 minutes of that game. It was fucking amazing and hell at the same time. 

Then I hung with the fam, all wasted, at an all inclusive waterpark called Wet N Wild. Shit sounds like a strip club. I don't fuck with all inclusive shit for a reason, I counted 7 shots of Tequila and I could still talk fairly properly. Fuck that water-down shit. I also entered a contest, Mr. Beer Drinking Cancun. I came 2nd in that shit, lost to a fuckin British guy. Dude swallowed 6 pints and I tapped out after 3. My stomach started to feel like it was being attacked by Hurricane Irene. Went back to the hotel while the fam went shopping, said fuck it, grabbed the tongue scrapper and put that shit down my mouth. I puked up like 18838282 gallons worth of shitty drugs and alcohol, it was fucking great. My 2nd best puke I've ever had in my life. I couldn't sleep so I had a wank to the Mexican news channel then eventually passed out. In all honesty this was a pretty cool fucking day. 

Monday morning was cool. Woke up, went in the pool and met a dude from East L.A. who was there on his honeymoon. Dude hated his wife lmao the entire time he was telling me "never get married man I only did it because she was pregnant." Eventually somehow the talk comes up where he knows how to get the good "Roddy White." We ride a bus to some shady fucking town. This is like 10am. That's where I seen the greatest shit ever. We met another dude, also shady, and this motherfucker like runs Mexico. We walk in his house and as soon as dude enters his own house, his wife comes up to him and kisses both his feet. I was in awe like what the fuck type of boss shit is this. It was amazing in every sense of the word, this girl was a fucking 10 as well but I ain't trying to get myself killed. He said she has to kiss his feet everytime he steps into the house that he provided lmao. That's Mexico for you.

Me and the East LA dude bussed back to Cancun where I visited some Mayan ruin thing with the family. That was also pretty cool, here's where the highlight of the trip happened. Well first let me tell you, them Mayan niggas also know how to control their wives. Back in the day as the guide explained, they'd get virgins and stick em in a sauna to purify them. When they were done they'd push em down a big ass lagoon thing for 12 hours. If they died they were unworthy, if they survived they'd wife em up. Beware, I intend to do the same shit to the one I marry lmao. But at this Mayan place there were these kids hounding you to buy their shitty souvenirs. Well one fat kid kept asking me to trade my hat, I had a Yankee fitted. I said no but as I walked around for whatever reason it was bothering me. I told myself if I see him again I'd give it to him in exchange for like 2 of his shitty souvenirs. I ran into him again and he was wearing a old, beat up Tampa Bay fitted. 

I said alright give me 2 of those shitty souvenirs and you could have the hat. This fat nigga says "fine but give me $5 dollars." I say nigga shut the fuck up I'm about to change my fucking mind don't even think of playing that game. Dude smiled and said "take it." The smile on his face when I gave him my fitted was something I'll never forget. The excitement dude got, he might sell it, he might keep it, but the happiness that just lit him up was something I could never put to words. Hands down the highlight of the trip. I finished off the Mayan shit and got drunk at the hotel. 

More tomorrow.

I'm out, peace.

Recapping Mexico- Day 1

Cheeba's Music Corner: Queen- Radio Ga Ga (We Miss you Freddie)

Let's just get into it a lot of people been asking bout the trip, here's everything I remember. My flight leaving Pearson was at 7:45 am so I was wasted by 1am. The plan was to head down with the parents to Cancun, fly to Mexico City for 2 days to host some college parties then fly back. Well I got to Pearson, wasted, but they can't suspect I'm wasted. It's like 6:30am and I needed something to wake me up so I head to the expensive ass airport food lounge. The only thing they got is coffee and like week-old croissants. I see they got an expresso for $1.49. I don't know what that shit is but for $1.49 it can't be bad. She sends me a shot of this black thing that looks like ass. This is what you white people willingly drink????? I took one smell and added like 9 packets of splenda and did the shot. Shit was terrible. I get on the plane and 3 hours later I'm in Dallas/Forth-Worth with the fam for a 3 hour wait for a connection. 

While in Dallas I say fuck it, it's time to get wasted again. I head to this Irish bar, the only thing that was open at that time. Me and my dad are pouring back pints of Guinness while watching ESPN. There's a guy next to me from Ramsey, Indiana. He's talking about how he has the greatest place in the world because he lives out in a corn field and he has a shot gun. He was so thrilled lmao. "I have a shotgun so I wouldn't have to deal with this Hurricane Irene looters, I'd kill em." 10 minutes later I was telling him how much I hate black people and dude was just buying me shots of Jager for 2 hours. I went and got a popeyes salad and got on the plane, could barely walk on. I didn't want my mom to know I was smashed cause she'd bitch at me so I took my Popeyes Salad to another empty seat and I start eating. 

There's this girl next to me, about 35, from Kansas. I feel something weird on the handrest when I look at her arms they were fucking hairy like you wouldn't believe. I fucking binned my Popeyes Salad, got the fuck up and went to another empty seat. Where I was graced with 2 19 year olds from Miami. White girls with tongue rings are winning in these streets. They had a laptop so of course I showed them the blog and they were all like "omgggggg you're so amazing." and in my head I'm thinking "omggggggg if I didn't have "her" I'd be getting it in with you 2 heauxs once this plane lands." Smh "her" stands for an anonymous girl, let's leave it at that.

That flight from Dallas to Cancun took like 3.5 fucking hours cause of some little drizzling, dumb ass pilot kept circling. Now we're all in Cancun and first thing I do is head to Subway for another salad. (I fucked with Salads throughout this trip so I could drink with little consequences) I hung with the fam for a bit but they were all tired. I went to the Outback Steakhouse and did more $2 shots of Tequilla and listened to shitty ass Pitbull and T-Pain and shit. Then The UFC came on and the heauxs came out. After 9pm it was $20 and all you could drink, or 200 pesos. The restaurants/bars in Cancun are hurting because of the all inclusive resorts so they practically giving shit away for free. 95% of Mexican girls are ugly and portrayed accurately the way we see em on tv. But that other 5%...fucking hot and not pretentious. I met some folks from England while at the Steakhouse, they were fucking cool. I wanted to puke but I didn't, I walked like 3 miles after that shitty UFC card listening to Arcade Fire then I finally found a cab and gave the fucker $3 to drive me 1 mile to my hotel. I didn't even take a room key so I slept on a beach chair overlooking a lagoon lmao. I woke up the next morning with a sizeable amount of puke on my Nike Tee...what a way to start the Vacation...

I'm out, peace.

Last Day of Ramadan

 Cheeba's Music Corner: Danny Brown - Lie 4

I said I wouldn't be back but I felt like getting away today and I haven't had a drink in a month so I hit the casino. Got my black ass fucking handed to me I was cold as fuck today. But it doesn't feel that bad because I just didn't have it. What did feel bad is realizing I have a fucking PC Mastercard bill that I forgot. SMH

With my friend dying and all I been thinking about "dreams." I never really had any I've always been content for the most part. My dream in all reality is to never work a 9 to 5 or become an office slave but even that is unrealistic. Today I had my mind fixated on dreams, a fabrication of my reality that I'd perceive to be content with, forever. I liked the idea so I kept constructing my idealistic dream, y'all got to hear this shit. For starters I need a wife. It's necessary, there's going to become a time and place when I'm lonely and shit and that's probably when I'm most self-destructive, I need a wife. Someone I could just have raw passionate sex with on demand and someone who understands me, which is almost impossible, shit. Maybe I should hire a Russian, nah that won't work she needs to be rich. 

I need a rich wife, who will give me an allowance. $1000 a month, I'll flip it hopefully though these days my intuition has been fucking off and I can't pick a game to win my life. I don't want to work so I'd take my $200 a week, eat sun flower seeds 7x a week, and gamble on sports. (Speaking of which the Yankees will be overvalued the next little while, but on morale alone the value is worth it if you ask me) Back to topic, I dream if having a rich wife who gives me $1000/month and accepts that I don't work. I wouldn't be lazy I'd cook and clean and write, I love to write and I don't fucking no why. So therapeutic you wouldn't believe. My dream is also to have an L-shaped couch. I don't know why but L-Shaped couches are the shit. I also need a hammock, someone in or outside the house I don't care but that would do. 

I also want to be far the fuck away from everyone. Not isolated, I still want to live in a city, just not anywhere here. The Western world ain't shit anymore. The economy sucks, morality is a concept that no longer exists, and the girls are pretentious. I want to live in a foreign place where Goldman Sachs and Pfizer doesn't mean shit. Then I need my episodes of Leave it to Beaver and the Wonder Years. My fucking dream is complete. While people dream of winning the lottery or having kids and shit here's what I want: 

-L shaped couch

-Allowance of $1000/month

-Hot wife who accepts my insanity and sees underneath it all

-A Hammock

-Leave to Beaver and The Wonder Years

- Foreign place where it's fucking warm

- Oh and I'm going to paint my toilet bowl with Kim Kardashian's face in it. That's what I want from this world, these 7 things. 

I'm out for the next week, back in September where I'll be back to emailing college/NFL picks.

I'm out, peace.

RIP My Nigga I'll Fuckin Miss You

I knew you would have loved your mug-shot on here lmao so I had to throw it up my nigga.

Today started off like any other day. Woke up did my think then around 3pm I get a text from someone I rarely even speak to. "Rendell is gone yo." In my head a part of me had already knew but I was hoping I was wrong. I respond back "What, that nigga got deported?" The response: "Nah man they got him, he's fucking dead." I kind of black out after that. It takes me a bit to catch myself. I'm sweating like a motherfucker. I'm in the bathroom pouring cold ass water on my face. Then I get to the tv and there it is, my boy that I've been close with for 10 years is gone. Fuck. It happens so fucking often in my life you'd think I'd get used to this shit.

Fuck what people think too there's a lot of people talking shit "he had a criminal past what do you expect." Nah fuck that, this is Scarborough not fuckin Laguna beach. This isn't the fucking Hills where jobs are easy to come by. Most do what they can to get by. No one deserves to die and while I ain't going to sit here and say homeboy was a law-abiding citizen, dude would never harm anyone. He made his money and that was that. He leaves behind 2 little daughters who ain't even in school yet. Shit just ain't right. Ya I know all that live by the sword die by the sword bullshit but like I said, this happens because of isolation and neglect of a community, not because of an individual with a bad-mind. This is 70% of the black men in Scarb, it's fuckin sad.

But fuck all that, I'll miss the fuck out of you man. Just the other day I seen the bus stop where we sparred and thought damn, that was a good fight. I'll miss the fucking Oxtails we used to get at that spot next to the nasty Chinese restaurant. I remember when they sent our asses to Sunday school at the Baptist church and we had to sing that gay ass song: "Lets dig a hole and put the devil in it. God Made Man, Man Made money, God made the Bees and the Bees made Homey." Shit was fucking gay but so hilarious at the time, and they fucking kicked us out of the church cause we refused to sing. Your daughters will grow up fine and be just as funny as you nigga. I'll miss you man, I'll see you when we meet.

Godspeed homie, I love you.

I probably won't be back until I get back from Mexico but I'll post details about Mexico in the upcoming days incase any students at those schools check out the blog.

I'm out, peace.

The Julius James Guide To Fashion

 Cheeba's Music Corner: Random Axe- Black Ops

So hear this, I was actually looking for confrontation with this one but she ain't bite. I got "interests" with a chick. I ask her if it's cool to fuck around in Mexico. I was expecting a fighting kind of response (I already had the answer in my head) but she hits me with this: "Enjoy Mexico Love." SMH that's the finest trap ever set, I ain't getting in shit for that one women are crazy smh. Now I'm going to get in shit for saying that lmao.

A few weeks ago I was having a convo with someone and there was this hot ass girl but in boots. Keep in mind it's like August why the fuck are you wearing boots for. But dude was like "the shit I would do to that girl." All I could think about was fuck, she's wearing boots. I hate boots in the winter on women let alone in the summer. But dude was like "who cares" yet I couldn't let it live. All I kept thinking about was how twisted I am, almost to a fault when it comes to this fashion shit. So here it is, things that make my dick hard (make me love you) and things that make my dick soft (make me hate you). If you're one of my friends and you make it to the hate list please don't get mad, somewhere out there, a toll booth collector would settle for you. Here it is (each fashion item is also a link to pics of the item incase you don't know what I'm talking bout): SMH this shit is going to show a "gay" side but oh hell.

Things that make my dick soft (fashion shit that makes me hate you females):

Scarves - the only people who should rock scarves are people in Alaska and football hooligan motherfuckers who want to overthrow the gov't. If you a female and you rocking a scarf, I don't care what season, you making yourself look like Joan Rivers. 

Vests - Only dudes in the army, drug dealers, and cops should wear one. It's the most unnecessary shit out there.

Thongs - I used to be down with this in the 90s but the older I get, people who rock this just look like clowns. A thong don't make you hot, what's underneath does. A thong just tells me you're desperate. 

Ankle/Leg strap heels/shoes - nah shit just looks too "Dominatrix" type. Disgusting smh. 

Waist High Jeans - SMH this one will get me in trouble but it makes them look 70 years old

Long Coats - This ain't Medieval times niggas, you girls need to stop it with the long coats

Boots - Nah they're terrible covering up the whole leg it's prison wear.

Costume Jewelry/Plenty Accessories - One bracelet and one watch females. You don't need a mini Jewelry store on your wrist/neck

Things that make my dick hard (instant marriage material):

Leggings - Leggings fuckin won. Dead ass a chick could pull off black/gray leggings 24/7 365. They're so fucking hot. 

Closed Toe Shoes - So fucking hot, I don't know why but so fucking hot.

Old Navy Slippers - Leggings + old navy slippers = instant marriage

Halter Tops - I searched Halter Tops and got that, so damn hot.

Summer Dresses - Beyond beautiful, so damn nice no a chick. 

Boy Shorts - No other underwear does it like boy-shorts

Anything Yankee Related - Yup, instant marriage. 

Multi-Colored Nail Polish - I had a porn star friend LMAO who was a huge blog follower til I wrote a blog about her calling her amazing for what she was doing but she took it the wrong way. Anyway she used to rock the Multi-Colored Nail Polish, so fucking hottttttt. Everyone disagrees with me but fuck y'all, it's hot.

Oversized white tee - add these with the boy shorts before she goes to bed. Fuckin heaven I swear.

Alright y'all that's enough I sound gay as is.

I'm out, peace.