Cheeba's Music Corner: Beanie Sigel- Man's World
This is when the trip really started to take off. Let's begin by saying 99% of drugs are legal in Mexico in small amounts, that means that 99% of drugs in Mexico are shit. I woke up Sunday morning and was like fuck, United play Arsenal. I head to soccer bar down the street in my old Danny Welbeck jersey. Everybody in that motherfucker was wearing a Chicarito jersey and once I walked in they were all like "whoa, Welbeck, this guy must be hardcore." There we made a deal to drink the number of times United score (so first goal -1shot, 2nd goal-2 shots) and so forth. United won by a fucking score of 8-2. I dont think anyone in that bar went past the 5th goal, I could barely last the 90 minutes of that game. It was fucking amazing and hell at the same time.
Then I hung with the fam, all wasted, at an all inclusive waterpark called Wet N Wild. Shit sounds like a strip club. I don't fuck with all inclusive shit for a reason, I counted 7 shots of Tequila and I could still talk fairly properly. Fuck that water-down shit. I also entered a contest, Mr. Beer Drinking Cancun. I came 2nd in that shit, lost to a fuckin British guy. Dude swallowed 6 pints and I tapped out after 3. My stomach started to feel like it was being attacked by Hurricane Irene. Went back to the hotel while the fam went shopping, said fuck it, grabbed the tongue scrapper and put that shit down my mouth. I puked up like 18838282 gallons worth of shitty drugs and alcohol, it was fucking great. My 2nd best puke I've ever had in my life. I couldn't sleep so I had a wank to the Mexican news channel then eventually passed out. In all honesty this was a pretty cool fucking day.
Monday morning was cool. Woke up, went in the pool and met a dude from East L.A. who was there on his honeymoon. Dude hated his wife lmao the entire time he was telling me "never get married man I only did it because she was pregnant." Eventually somehow the talk comes up where he knows how to get the good "Roddy White." We ride a bus to some shady fucking town. This is like 10am. That's where I seen the greatest shit ever. We met another dude, also shady, and this motherfucker like runs Mexico. We walk in his house and as soon as dude enters his own house, his wife comes up to him and kisses both his feet. I was in awe like what the fuck type of boss shit is this. It was amazing in every sense of the word, this girl was a fucking 10 as well but I ain't trying to get myself killed. He said she has to kiss his feet everytime he steps into the house that he provided lmao. That's Mexico for you.
Me and the East LA dude bussed back to Cancun where I visited some Mayan ruin thing with the family. That was also pretty cool, here's where the highlight of the trip happened. Well first let me tell you, them Mayan niggas also know how to control their wives. Back in the day as the guide explained, they'd get virgins and stick em in a sauna to purify them. When they were done they'd push em down a big ass lagoon thing for 12 hours. If they died they were unworthy, if they survived they'd wife em up. Beware, I intend to do the same shit to the one I marry lmao. But at this Mayan place there were these kids hounding you to buy their shitty souvenirs. Well one fat kid kept asking me to trade my hat, I had a Yankee fitted. I said no but as I walked around for whatever reason it was bothering me. I told myself if I see him again I'd give it to him in exchange for like 2 of his shitty souvenirs. I ran into him again and he was wearing a old, beat up Tampa Bay fitted.
I said alright give me 2 of those shitty souvenirs and you could have the hat. This fat nigga says "fine but give me $5 dollars." I say nigga shut the fuck up I'm about to change my fucking mind don't even think of playing that game. Dude smiled and said "take it." The smile on his face when I gave him my fitted was something I'll never forget. The excitement dude got, he might sell it, he might keep it, but the happiness that just lit him up was something I could never put to words. Hands down the highlight of the trip. I finished off the Mayan shit and got drunk at the hotel.
More tomorrow.
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