Last Day of Ramadan

 Cheeba's Music Corner: Danny Brown - Lie 4

I said I wouldn't be back but I felt like getting away today and I haven't had a drink in a month so I hit the casino. Got my black ass fucking handed to me I was cold as fuck today. But it doesn't feel that bad because I just didn't have it. What did feel bad is realizing I have a fucking PC Mastercard bill that I forgot. SMH

With my friend dying and all I been thinking about "dreams." I never really had any I've always been content for the most part. My dream in all reality is to never work a 9 to 5 or become an office slave but even that is unrealistic. Today I had my mind fixated on dreams, a fabrication of my reality that I'd perceive to be content with, forever. I liked the idea so I kept constructing my idealistic dream, y'all got to hear this shit. For starters I need a wife. It's necessary, there's going to become a time and place when I'm lonely and shit and that's probably when I'm most self-destructive, I need a wife. Someone I could just have raw passionate sex with on demand and someone who understands me, which is almost impossible, shit. Maybe I should hire a Russian, nah that won't work she needs to be rich. 

I need a rich wife, who will give me an allowance. $1000 a month, I'll flip it hopefully though these days my intuition has been fucking off and I can't pick a game to win my life. I don't want to work so I'd take my $200 a week, eat sun flower seeds 7x a week, and gamble on sports. (Speaking of which the Yankees will be overvalued the next little while, but on morale alone the value is worth it if you ask me) Back to topic, I dream if having a rich wife who gives me $1000/month and accepts that I don't work. I wouldn't be lazy I'd cook and clean and write, I love to write and I don't fucking no why. So therapeutic you wouldn't believe. My dream is also to have an L-shaped couch. I don't know why but L-Shaped couches are the shit. I also need a hammock, someone in or outside the house I don't care but that would do. 

I also want to be far the fuck away from everyone. Not isolated, I still want to live in a city, just not anywhere here. The Western world ain't shit anymore. The economy sucks, morality is a concept that no longer exists, and the girls are pretentious. I want to live in a foreign place where Goldman Sachs and Pfizer doesn't mean shit. Then I need my episodes of Leave it to Beaver and the Wonder Years. My fucking dream is complete. While people dream of winning the lottery or having kids and shit here's what I want: 

-L shaped couch

-Allowance of $1000/month

-Hot wife who accepts my insanity and sees underneath it all

-A Hammock

-Leave to Beaver and The Wonder Years

- Foreign place where it's fucking warm

- Oh and I'm going to paint my toilet bowl with Kim Kardashian's face in it. That's what I want from this world, these 7 things. 

I'm out for the next week, back in September where I'll be back to emailing college/NFL picks.

I'm out, peace.

RIP My Nigga I'll Fuckin Miss You

I knew you would have loved your mug-shot on here lmao so I had to throw it up my nigga.

Today started off like any other day. Woke up did my think then around 3pm I get a text from someone I rarely even speak to. "Rendell is gone yo." In my head a part of me had already knew but I was hoping I was wrong. I respond back "What, that nigga got deported?" The response: "Nah man they got him, he's fucking dead." I kind of black out after that. It takes me a bit to catch myself. I'm sweating like a motherfucker. I'm in the bathroom pouring cold ass water on my face. Then I get to the tv and there it is, my boy that I've been close with for 10 years is gone. Fuck. It happens so fucking often in my life you'd think I'd get used to this shit.

Fuck what people think too there's a lot of people talking shit "he had a criminal past what do you expect." Nah fuck that, this is Scarborough not fuckin Laguna beach. This isn't the fucking Hills where jobs are easy to come by. Most do what they can to get by. No one deserves to die and while I ain't going to sit here and say homeboy was a law-abiding citizen, dude would never harm anyone. He made his money and that was that. He leaves behind 2 little daughters who ain't even in school yet. Shit just ain't right. Ya I know all that live by the sword die by the sword bullshit but like I said, this happens because of isolation and neglect of a community, not because of an individual with a bad-mind. This is 70% of the black men in Scarb, it's fuckin sad.

But fuck all that, I'll miss the fuck out of you man. Just the other day I seen the bus stop where we sparred and thought damn, that was a good fight. I'll miss the fucking Oxtails we used to get at that spot next to the nasty Chinese restaurant. I remember when they sent our asses to Sunday school at the Baptist church and we had to sing that gay ass song: "Lets dig a hole and put the devil in it. God Made Man, Man Made money, God made the Bees and the Bees made Homey." Shit was fucking gay but so hilarious at the time, and they fucking kicked us out of the church cause we refused to sing. Your daughters will grow up fine and be just as funny as you nigga. I'll miss you man, I'll see you when we meet.

Godspeed homie, I love you.

I probably won't be back until I get back from Mexico but I'll post details about Mexico in the upcoming days incase any students at those schools check out the blog.

I'm out, peace.

The Julius James Guide To Fashion

 Cheeba's Music Corner: Random Axe- Black Ops

So hear this, I was actually looking for confrontation with this one but she ain't bite. I got "interests" with a chick. I ask her if it's cool to fuck around in Mexico. I was expecting a fighting kind of response (I already had the answer in my head) but she hits me with this: "Enjoy Mexico Love." SMH that's the finest trap ever set, I ain't getting in shit for that one women are crazy smh. Now I'm going to get in shit for saying that lmao.

A few weeks ago I was having a convo with someone and there was this hot ass girl but in boots. Keep in mind it's like August why the fuck are you wearing boots for. But dude was like "the shit I would do to that girl." All I could think about was fuck, she's wearing boots. I hate boots in the winter on women let alone in the summer. But dude was like "who cares" yet I couldn't let it live. All I kept thinking about was how twisted I am, almost to a fault when it comes to this fashion shit. So here it is, things that make my dick hard (make me love you) and things that make my dick soft (make me hate you). If you're one of my friends and you make it to the hate list please don't get mad, somewhere out there, a toll booth collector would settle for you. Here it is (each fashion item is also a link to pics of the item incase you don't know what I'm talking bout): SMH this shit is going to show a "gay" side but oh hell.

Things that make my dick soft (fashion shit that makes me hate you females):

Scarves - the only people who should rock scarves are people in Alaska and football hooligan motherfuckers who want to overthrow the gov't. If you a female and you rocking a scarf, I don't care what season, you making yourself look like Joan Rivers. 

Vests - Only dudes in the army, drug dealers, and cops should wear one. It's the most unnecessary shit out there.

Thongs - I used to be down with this in the 90s but the older I get, people who rock this just look like clowns. A thong don't make you hot, what's underneath does. A thong just tells me you're desperate. 

Ankle/Leg strap heels/shoes - nah shit just looks too "Dominatrix" type. Disgusting smh. 

Waist High Jeans - SMH this one will get me in trouble but it makes them look 70 years old

Long Coats - This ain't Medieval times niggas, you girls need to stop it with the long coats

Boots - Nah they're terrible covering up the whole leg it's prison wear.

Costume Jewelry/Plenty Accessories - One bracelet and one watch females. You don't need a mini Jewelry store on your wrist/neck

Things that make my dick hard (instant marriage material):

Leggings - Leggings fuckin won. Dead ass a chick could pull off black/gray leggings 24/7 365. They're so fucking hot. 

Closed Toe Shoes - So fucking hot, I don't know why but so fucking hot.

Old Navy Slippers - Leggings + old navy slippers = instant marriage

Halter Tops - I searched Halter Tops and got that, so damn hot.

Summer Dresses - Beyond beautiful, so damn nice no a chick. 

Boy Shorts - No other underwear does it like boy-shorts

Anything Yankee Related - Yup, instant marriage. 

Multi-Colored Nail Polish - I had a porn star friend LMAO who was a huge blog follower til I wrote a blog about her calling her amazing for what she was doing but she took it the wrong way. Anyway she used to rock the Multi-Colored Nail Polish, so fucking hottttttt. Everyone disagrees with me but fuck y'all, it's hot.

Oversized white tee - add these with the boy shorts before she goes to bed. Fuckin heaven I swear.

Alright y'all that's enough I sound gay as is.

I'm out, peace.

I Think The Rage Is Back

 Cheeba's Music Corner: Lox- Fuck You

When you get in an argument with someone over twitter and they have 15,000 followers, prepare for your phone to non-stop vibrate with all that Uber-social shit. Nigga talking about eating his girl's ass, I said fuck that gay shit but somehow I'm the faggot. Then you get 100000 dickriders blowing up account with some bullshit. If you don't understand what I'm saying, just chalk it up to social media doing its thing. Black people will never prosper cause of shit like this, most of them niggas would be better off picking cotton.

But fuck all that the rage is coming back. I remember the days I used to be angry for no real reason, I think I'm at that stage. Like today, I go out and decide I gotta eat healthy and shit because I'm going to Mexico next week and I have full intention of abusing the fuck out of my body. So I go pick up 2 packs of Tofu. Shit is like $5.50 or something. I come home and make that shit and it ain't even soy tofu, it's fucking Fish Tofu. Who the fuck eats Fish Tofu. SHIT WAS FUCKING DISGUSTING but I ate it cause I fucking paid for it.

Then I got the dickhead school registration people telling me they haven't received my payment yet. When it fucking says in my student account my balance is $0.00 and they received a payment during July 18th. Fucking had me on the phone all fucking day then told me to call back tomorrow. I lost a bet too and had to watch an episode of some Vampire show "True Blood." I rather watch the Chink channel for a day than to watch white actors/actresses suck each others necks talking about getting blood. Fucking ran out of Cottonelle flushable wipes as well, just can't win these days.

Now there's fuck all on tv and I got the channel on WWE. What grown fucking 22 year old out there is watching wwe. This shit aint even what it used to be like. Everything's changed. Everyone now got a few facebook friends, a nice phone, a HDTV, but you know what, 99% of these people hate themselves. And they hate their fucking lives. They wake up in the morning, stare in the mirror, and they realize they're a fucking fake. They are a disappointment to themselves. So they drive to the office. They complain, they have their coffee in their own little mug. They socialize in the lunchroom. Then they come home. And they realize they still have the same fucking problems they have when they woke up. They hate themselves, they hate everything they become. They hate the apps they download. They hate the fucking bluetooth attached to their ear. They hate most of their friends who would probably fuck their significant other if given the chance.

So they go for the pain alleviation. They go on the social networks to discuss the passing of some celebrity who really would never give a fuck about them. Or they go and discuss some world issue they don't really give a fuck about but make it seem that way because they act a certain fucking way. Or maybe they're filled with so many insecurities they go and talk about how great they treat women and let them "ride their faces." They get a few "likes," they get a few people who cheer em on. They get a person or two to fill their ego. Then they go back at night, lay their face on that pillow and realized the emptiness, the hole, the thing they spend countless hours trying to gloss or escape is still fucking there. They aren't content with themselves to a point where they hate who they were, who they are, who they will become.

I've just described 90% of the world, yup the rage is back. I'm out, peace.

Going on a Self-Imposed Blog Ban til I get sex

She promised me some box since like Friday. "Perhaps." I ain't get shit yet so I ain't blogging til I get some. Nah, I actually haven't been feeling well since I got off that plane. For a bunch of health related reasons. I'm good though, I'll get back to this shit in like a week. Take care all and remember, if she don't reveal her age, you're off the hook when Chris Hansen and the FBI show up.


I'm out, peace.

The Harry Potter Experience- Might Contain a Spoiler So If You're A Fag, Stop Reading

Cheeba's Music Corner: Gang Starr- Right Where You Stand

Just took a massive shit. It felt good so I had to tell y'all about it. Oh I almost forgot another funny ass vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPVTl9K0lqc. By the way sweetness thanks for the movie and dinner today shit was off the chain. You know you got it made when you go to restaurants and can't pronounce what the fuck you ordering. A nigga had an egg dropped in soup and this thing called Scallaccia. Shit was like spinach and veal in heaven. Drinking imported SanPelligrino shit from Italy. It was the best shit ever. But I got problems with the chick. 

We're in the theater and it's just me and her in this VIP theater. So I'm thinking nothing of it trying to watch this Harry Potter shit. She says to me " I bet you're probably thinking damn this theater is empty and I'm not giving you anything, sorry." SMH my mind wasn't even on that and it was 4pm, so I hadn't wanked in like 20 hours. The thoughts that ran through my mind after she was in that purple thing FML. Don't worry though the next girl to fuck with me around Ramadan about this platonic shit I'm going to dead ass give you Everclear and tell you it's water. 

But enough of that, man Harry Potter is fucked. See I billed this as something akin to Mayweather vs. Pacman. The fight of the century between Harry Potter and the nigga Lord Voldermort. Man ain't shit happen. By the way that Hermine girl is fucking hot I'd beat the breaks off it for ages. But basically Harry fucks around and gets a crown or something. Then some bitch ass shit happen. Someone revealed that a part of Voldermort lies in Harry's soul. See what I mean, so it became Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs Floyd Mayweather Jr. What the fuck kind of fight was that. Then Lord Voldermort, who is one bad ass nigga fucks Harry's shit up. Dude left him for dead. I'm thinking yea nigga do your thing. Then more bitch ass shit happened. 

Harry miraculously comes back to life and gets Hermine and the other nigga to fuck up Voldermort's snake or some shit. Then Voldermort suddenly dies because he has no control over the wand. To top it all off, she's next to me in her hot ass Purple shirt cheering and shit. 2 hours and 15 mins and ain't shit happen but Voldermort losing control of his wand and dying by default. Here's what I learned about Harry Potter:

- this shit is for 30 year old virgins, fags, and people who simply haven't had good penis/vagina in their lives.

- Lord Voldermort is the shit and if I were to start a religion he'd be the one I'd be focusing on (no homo) 

- Neville Longbottom I think that's his name is also the shit.

- Harry Potter's mom is a fucking Milf.

- The 10 or so black people in the movie have been nothing but a failure to their race.

-The next person I sleep with I'm going to blurt out "Hermine"

-There was one Asian and she definitely looked like a Tranny

-If the fight was fair Lord Voldermort would have fucked everyone's shit up. 

Nah I'm playing y'all it was a good movie. (Not really but I got to see plenty cleavage so I'm happy) 

Also, if anyone sends me naked/sexy pics, please have no animals in it.......

I'm headed to NYC this weekend so I don't know if I'll blog tomorrow. Depends if I'm home jacking off or actually going out. Julia if you read this (the girl who I got into a fight with last trip to NYC) I intend to show up on your door Saturday morning cause I got no place to stay. LMAO 

I'm out, peace.

More Info About The Muslim Box

Cheeba's Music Corner: Nina Simone-Feeling Good

Fuck man y'all have to check out this video, I think dude's autistic but fucking shit had me in tears. If he isn't autistic then my bad lmao Weed At A Concert

Before I begin I got a shitload of things to say. For starters I want to thank everyone who is joining www.onematch.ca or any other blood registry. The response, today especially was nothing beyond remarkable and I want to thank everybody for spreading the word. Stalkbook, twitter, etc. thanks. 

You know you're in with the white people when you get their personal email address, not their business email and every time the sophisticated white people send you an email the name "Big Puck" comes up.

Also we got to pay some bills. I want everyone in the Kingston area to check out Family Fun World. Seriously if you're from the Kingston area this place is the fucking shit. I hear there's hot ass Queens students at the bating stages and stuff, not a bad place to go if you want to pick up hot white girls. Plus they got the kids activities for the whole family. Then after that check out Putt N' Blast in the Frontenac Mall. Shit's also pretty crazy. But y'all probably don't believe me. Check out their motherfucking website: http://www.funworldpark.com/. It's so fucking ghetto it transcends everything related to perfection. Like seriously in 2011 you still got a website probably made by black people. So for the 10 or so blacks in Kingston Ontario, check that shit out. It's Kingston, Ontario ain't like y'all got shit to do and it's where the college kids hang out, definitely going to be crazy. 

Alright so as you all know I've been desperately trying to find out what's under the Taliban gear of the Muslim box. I always wonder what that pussy is like. So after months of research I told y'all it was great. Well after today I might have been fucking wrong. Shit was terrible, it was like apricots. Who the fuck eats apricots. Could you imagine walking down the street and you see a dude and say what up. And he says "here have some apricots." Like what the fuck is an apricot. I got drunk off that shit last week, "Apricot wheat beer" and I rather do meth than to re-live that experience. Fucking apricots. 

Anyway so as you know I'm celebrating Ramadan. Around 2pm I always get really fucking hungry. By 4pm I'm fucking horny as hell so it's really a bad combo. I try not to do business or converse with people between 2pm-6pm. However this chick from the middle east who I know through a friend comes on MSN messenger. Of course I'm horny so I'm flirting with her and shit trying to find out what's up. She was not having any of it until I told her my dick size, then I had never seen someone so intrigued. On Ramadan as well man she definitely got wet. 

But the convo continues and I remember her going to McGill so I asked her about it. "Oh I didn't end up going there, I'm going to university in Beirut, Lebanon." What the fuck? She then proceeds to tell me how she researched it and the university, UAB, in Lebanon is significantly greater than McGill. I'm kind of just blank-staring my computer screen at this point. Then when I tell her she's fucking insane, she tells me it's the best school in Lebanon......

Now I want to bang my head against the wall. My dick went down and I'm thinking she's insane but it gets worse. She's in the middle east and I'm in Toronto. It's 4pm in Toronto and there is an 8 hour time difference, so midnight where she's at. She asks me "what's the time difference" I say 8 hours. Keep in mind it's midnight where she's at. She says "oh my gosh why are you up so early it's 7am in Toronto." Now I'm blank-staring again. I say first of all, I said it was an 8 HOUR DIFFERENCE. She says ya, if it's midnight here and that's an 8 hour difference, it must be 7am. I ask her to re-think it and she admits she miscalculated. I'm kind of losing it but because it's probably good box I stick around. Then I explain to her that eastern standard timing is behind whatever her time is, so it's actually 4pm because we're behind in Toronto. I was in awe that I actually had to explain it.

Her jokes were lame as hell too. She kept saying shit that wasn't funny then she'd laugh. Me I'm the type to call a spade a spade so I wouldn't laugh at all, then she'd laugh some more. The worst part is, she actually likes me, she re-iterated 3x that she would make a better effort to come online and talk to me more. In my head I'm thinking get that shitty Apricot box the fuck away from me but because I'm a nice dude I just give her the msn *nodding* emoticon and I got the fuck away from the computer. Muslim box has failed me miserably during Ramadan, Allah what the fuck I do to deserve this?

I'm out, peace.