The Weekend and the Epiphany

This Holiday bullshit sucked. Last Christmas I was in a basement with a bag of sunflower seeds, I went to the gas station and got some Bits and Bites, and a bottle of Bacardi. Drank til I passed out, this Christmas was 1000x worse than that but I ain't getting into it. I was in Cleveland last week and as always I had a blast, only thing is I been drunk since the 21st. Another problem is that despite not wanting to, I left Cleveland thinking "family" and blah blah Christmas will be cool. I was wrong. Today was my first "day off." I got off that plane and went straight for more partying, buddy looks at my jacket and says "what is this" thinking it was a design. It was Puke residue. That's the type of week I had, wore the same mustard stained jeans for like 3 days and just went hard. Christmas and Boxing Day was spent at the strip club because to make a long story short for a bunch of reasons I couldn't be at home. Throughout the week I been beaten down more times than a nigga living in Alabama in the 20s. Christmas lunch consisted of sliced cheese on bread, at least I melted it lmao.

If it wasn't for the Ciroc, Grey Goose, and odd beer/wine I don't know how I'd survive this shit. But I did. So it's the 26th and me and another dude are at the Strip Club. He's beaten down like me. For one reason or another and I forgot the reason why but I purposely cut my thigh with a steak knife. At the time I had a good reason, I guess, but ya it's that sort of weekend. So now I say enough is enough, I had enough alcohol, enough strip club food, enough of the bullshit. I tell the homie lets go to walmart, pick up a rotisserie chicken, some mac and cheese, coleslaw. and potato wedges and have our own belated Christmas dinner. I DONT FUCK with potato wedges but it's the closest thing to fries I could think of and I wanted fucking fries. There I was, in the same clothes for like 5 days. Smelling of vodka, I don't remember eating anything, I don't remember doing anything, got stripper makeup all over me and nothing in my life is going right yet I'm stumbling across Walmart hoping they got that ready-made food. Then it happened....

A chick came up to me and said "hi" and I was thinking "no I don't want to sign up for your bitch ass mastercard." I turned to her about to cuss her off and then I realized I knew this person. You know how some people, during the worst times, see an angel and shit? This was my angel. See this was a girl I was trying to get it in with in 2005-06. She was hot, beautiful spanish skin, and sucked dick like Heather Brooke (google) which was the word on the street. Now it's 2011 and THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY I"M HITTING THIS. The chick gained bout 50 pounds, had acne and shit, all I could think of is WHAT HAPPENED. Then she told me about her boyfriend, this was the sign from God. In my head I'm thinking, wait a NIGGA HITS THIS???????? NAH my life ain't so bad after all. I might be beaten the fuck down but I ain't fucking Kate plus 8 (literally like that chick Kate plus 8 other people combined into 1) No fucking way, I jumped for joy and went about my day, knowing I have it good, I ain't ever have to resort to that Hoover Dam in the face type of women. I'm blessed. I'm out.

Peace.