Here We Go Again

I try not to be ungrateful but there are certain things I just can't help but think about. Don't blame me. I got a friend who has a sister and my friend fine as hell but her sister the one with good grades, the nice dude blah blah blah. She has all these family functions and doesn't want to show up single so she calls me and I'm usually her pretend boyfriend. In return, I used to get a mean blowjob now I just get free booze smh. But it was Thanksgiving and shorty had the gathering at her Aunt's place. This was thanksgiving and I'm black, I was raised a certain way. When you invite someone over at your crib you make them feel at home, give them a meal with love and take care of them. 

A nigga showed up for thanksgiving expecting everything and the kitchen sink. You know what I got, corn from a can, turkey, gravy, rice, and mini croissants you get in a pack for like $2.99. Man what the fuck, I ain't travel halfway across the city for this bullshit. AND WHAT the fuck do you eat with the rice? The turkey? Nigga please the least she could have done was fry the rice, add peas or something. A nigga spent his thanksgiving eating this garbage, let's be real that lady stuck the turkey in the oven and went to masturbate for 12 hours, came back, opened the can of corn and boiled some fucking rice. That was her meal she was serving to the people she "cared for." You know what's worse. This old ass lady spent the entire dinner bragging about how long the turkey took and how she got it perfect. White people don't know shit about cooking with love. Bullshit ass meals, bullshit ass "gatherings," bullshit ass dinnertime conversation man I couldn't wait to get out of there and hit KFC for the Big Box Meal with an extra side of coleslaw. 

So now another holiday is upon us (fuck that sounded gay let me try this again) Now Christmas is here and shorty hits me up pleading to roll with her on Saturday night. I value her a lot so I got no choice but to go. BUT I told her I'm skipping dinner. I'm doing this shit the ghetto way. I'm going to to Popeyes, pick up a 2 piece with an extra biscuit. Then I'm going eat it in the car on my way to the spot. When I get there I'm going to tell her Aunt I already ate at another family function, I'll have one of those bootleg ass croissants that been sitting in a grocery store for 7 weeks and I'll pretend to be happy. Then I'll hit their liquor cabinet for everything they got. That's what my life has become. I got to put on a James Bond type mission on Christmas eve and hang around fake white people, all because I live for alcohol and I want to tap into that Johnny Walker Blue. The things I do for the love of my life. I'm out. 

Peace.