After weeks of deliberation, I decided to be the better person and attend this family reunion thing that's taking place on Sunday. I fucking hate family like you wouldn't believe, bound together by some shitty blood. If most these people died I wouldn't give a fuck about them and they wouldn't give a fuck about me. But I took the high road, one of those "it would make my mom happy kinda crap because she likes this" so I said I'm going. So many problems with this I don't know where to begin. My aunt is funding it and I hate it. She's the type to do something for you and hold it over your head forever. That's when I said, "I'm a grown ass man, I'll pay, it ain't nothing." My mom said oh don't worry about it, it's a buffet.
Who the fuck eats all you can eat, that shit is for people in trailer parks and greedy ass motherfuckers who never seen food. For $10 you getting an unlimited food supply of meats, carbs, dessert, etc. and you expect that shit to be good? Nigga please. If you want the truth I kind of got tired of "hope" and coping and shit, these days I'm just living solely for the purpose of living. There ain't much out there anymore that excites me I'm layered with deep mental problems that has me thinking tomorrow will be no different than today so I'm going to wank to amateur Milf Porn and I took up cooking so that gets me through these cold ass days. I'm tired of hearing "hang in there." See y'all would read that and feel sorry for me, trust me I'm good but THIS family....unreal. Half of these people slept with each others husbands, half got addictions ranging from blow to alcohol, and the rest are the ones who "know everything" you just can't win.
I don't love these people, I don't care for them, I'm indifferent to everything but on Sunday I'll have to go, with a smiley face like this " :) " and pretend to enjoy the shitty all you can eat food. Then I'll have to give everyone hugs and shit, I'm fucking anti social don't touch me unless I've said the words "I love you." I could think of 1000 better things I could be doing than this but I'll have to suck it up (pause). They're bringing a cake too, then they'll all pretend that they're the best of friends, then in 3 weeks my uncle will get evicted or my aunt, who has been convicted of fraud like 20x will catch another case. Rinse and repeat, yet I'm supposed to feel connected to her. I say this to say, to anyone reading this, I stay connected to y'all. Y'all are real people who I fuck with, who I smoke with, some of y'all I fuck and some will give up their fallopian tube to see me smile. Y'all keep me sane and y'all are the reason I do this, much love and think of me on Sunday when I'm sitting across the table from a bunch of people who think having a good time is smiling for a camera and posting it on facebook to show the world how happy they are, re-assuring themselves that everything is okay when it really isn't.
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