List I wrote to myself

To make a long story short I'm writing this letter to myself in an effort to become a better human being. I really don't feel like sharing this but some part of me feels as if I have to. This is pretty gay but I listen to my intuition and decided to post this.Whatever, enjoy or don't enjoy just fuck off lmao.

Steps I need to take to become a better human being. 

1) Drink less and write down in a calendar every time you get drunk 
2) Start showing more of who you are on social networks, the negative perception hurts more than you know
3) Visit Rendell's grave at some point this year
4) Stop trying to differentiate all the fucking time, just stop 
5) Conduct yourself with way more class
6) Be comfortable 
7) Visit Ma and Papi's grave in Trinidad at some point this year
8) Stop with the altercations and confrontations
9) Read more
10) Put down the phone
11) Spend more time soaking it all in, you dont do this nearly enough
12) Muster up the courage to go and get a full physical this year
13) Try acupuncture and naturopath
14) Stop hurting everyone who gets close to you, it shows your insecurities
15) Stop being annoying when drunk, the drunk texting needs to stop it hurts more than it helps.
16) When someone gets you angry (which is everyday) do not respond or react to anyone for 5 minutes. 300 seconds is a rule you need to apply, if you're still hurt/upset/angry after that time frame then act accordingly 
17) Give more back 
18) Value your father's opinion more. 
19) Set an example for Lil, he should want to be who you are, only better
20) Drink 1 big glass of green tea once a day
21) Check blood pressure bi-weekly
22) Weigh yourself bi-weekly
23) Lie less
24) DO NOT try and get sympathy from anyone, at anytime, use your friend's advice more.
25) Consider hiring a financial consultant at the end of the year
26) Realize that even though you feel as though you are never wrong, people are right more than you give them credit for 
27) Do not wake up after 8am, ever. Go to sleep early if you have to
28) Find positive ways to hurt those that hurt you. Revenge is sweet when you can prove people wrong, that's where a lot of questions get answered
29) Do not exert energy if you feel in your heart that the person/thing isn't worth it
30) Try to spend more times acting in ways that produce positive results
31) Dedicate at least 40 minutes of your life, bi-weekly, to writing letters on http://www.postpals.co.uk/
32) You lost some of your ways, find them
33) Remember you'll get what you put in + interest
34) Try and work harder while at work 
35) Remember your days are numbered but that's okay, you get them back + interest
36) Demand only the best from yourself from the day you wake up. There needs to be progress
37) Realize that life is great, when you don't realize this, it's because YOU did something wrong 
38) Cut people slack
39) Go back to being more selfless
40) Your mistakes occurred for a reason, realize that. 
41) Drop the hate in your heart when it comes to Jana
42) Keep the hate in your heart when it comes to Lindsay but use it wisely 
43) Drink at least 5 kale shakes a week
44) Stop finding ways to get home quicker, there's value in a commute
45) Stop trying to make everyone unhappy, because you're unhappy
46) You'll make the same mistakes over and over and over, but you'll get it right eventually, we all do.
47) At some point find the courage and time to read the letter Rebecca wrote to you
48) Stop finding ways to destroy what people have helped you built
49) There are people that you treat like shit who don't deserve it, stop it
50) Stop eating chips
51) Go back to New Orleans or somewhere in December, you deserve it
52) Try and spend more time with dad
53) By the end of the year run 4 miles in under 30 minutes or at least give it 50 serious attempts
54) Walk more 
55) Stop being a dick
56) Play more basketball this summer
57) Work to be better with the job, you settle far too much and it's your fault
58) Make them proud 
59) Try and take up baking again, you loved the sense of accomplishment, you should want more of that
60) Don't drink every week, even in the summer, it isn't worth it.
61) Find 5 places where you want to live, set a price, work towards the downpayment
62) Spend more time thanking your friends, you're worse than you know 
63) Maybe take up fishing or something to do with nature
64) Enjoy this summer, remember what it felt like in November
65) Think about the future more
66) Love again, you forgot what it feels like to receive, you no longer know how to give
67) Spend at least 3 hours a week trying to build up Sweet Delights 
68) Stop jacking off so much, it has a negative feeling at times
69) Be you, don't ever fucking forget where you came from and who helped you along the way, ever 
70) Maybe take up more juicing, like wheatgrass and stuff, if it's something you want
71) Don't change for nobody, only you. 
72) There are much better ways to use your voice than you're currently using it
73) Stop thinking about 24 as being the beginning of the end, you ain't even reach the start line yet
74) Before you go to bed, say "it's all good" 3x, every night that you can remember
75) You're in control, of everything, remember that
76) Say "please" more
77) Dont forget the way you were raised, life is good always
78) There's always someone better than you in this world, remember that every morning
79) You're a great person with many ways that are pieces of shit, curable 
80) Stop fighting Eesh
81) Smile more

Random Thoughts

- I'm starting to see value in things I never saw before
- I can finally drink in moderation. Moderation isn't the key to life but I figured life out. There is no key. 
-Pain lasts forever, happiness doesn't. Weird but true. 
-We pay and get a return on every investment. Everything is accounted for. God is an accountant, a good one. 
-If I had true proof God didn't exist I'd kill myself in more ways than I can count.
-All these years, I under estimated sleep.
-There's no point to physical exercise if your mind refuses to work out.
-I wonder what was going through Bon Iver's mind when he wrote "For Emma" 
-I'm a lover of harsh realities but the one the Yankees are currently presenting is one that is not needed.
-My vices are getting a bit too expensive 
-"Friends" is a vague term, with that said, I love the very few I consider to call my friends.
-I now live in a time where men want to be women and women forget what it means to be a women
-Change doesn't ever correlate to better, it correlates to different.
-I need to fix my life but general laborers are so difficult to get a hold of. 
-All-inclusive anything is for the faggots.
-I get a cheap thrill when people disagree with me, I love to argue.
-I find peace in lying.
-I alter with this view but I don't think I'm at fault with anything to be honest, the world is. It's not me it's people. That may change.
-NCAA sucks
-I need to make it back to New Orleans this year, it's an absolute necessity. 
-Spicy foods used to make me feel good, not so much any more
-"Wolf" is a great album
-Insecurities simply display truths, if you're worried about something, it's because it's true and you're in denial. If you're insecure about you
-Says a lot when the majority of the world is insecure.
-I don't have an ego I just pretend to have one
-I got issues with truth
-I got issues with olives
-Leslie Mann is seriously underrated, absolutely stunning as well
-I try to fall in love at least 45x a year, as you can see it's working out for me. 
-Living without the fear of consequences has its setbacks
-There's value in strangers. 
-Me and #4 on Michigan have the same size of tits
-The Jays were who I thought they were (stupid people won't get that)
-"Meant to be like passing Beyonce a tic-tac" might be the single greatest line in hip hop ever
-I could use new music from Arcade Fire
-Emoticons/Emojis make the world go around
-Healthy living is for the faggots
-Pretentiousness might be a disease 
-What Cohen saw when he wrote "Hallelujah" might now be extinct. 
-"Why doesn't anyone understand me?" -7 billion humans
-"Why do I want what I can't have?" - 7 billion humans
-Everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt.
-In my life time a 6 is always greater than a 9
-I want to do a colonoscopy just to see what would come out.
-I wonder if my benefits covers a colonoscopy
-Does a colonoscopy mean sticking something in my ass
-Being manipulative is a gift, one that I might just possess
-I've grown tired of explaining myself 
-Lululemon > 
- I'm getting tired of spraying rubbing alcohol on my ears 
-I got plenty to be thankful, I got plenty to be bitter about 
-a Beignet would hit the spot right about now
-The world is idealistic and I'm doing everything to prove it pays to move backwards 
-If WestJet don't fly there then I'm not going. 
-I met a girl who legally changed her name to "Cocaine", the name " Aaron is tatted" across her tits 
- Arcade Fire needs to really make new music.

Have a wonderful day/night.