What's Wrong With Toronto Sports Fans: Toronto FC

With the exception of Liverpool and the Boston Red Sox, I'm hard-pressed to find a team that gives me as much joy when they lose as TFC. When I was in elementary school there was a class called "MH" (multiple handicap) and there were kids in this class with various disabilities. Many students in this specific class really believed that they were Superman or Batman and during recess they would dress up in capes and shit and go around pretending to get the "bad guys" and they'd be high-fiving each other. Then they'd talk about how amazing they were because they caught all the bad guys. That's what the majority of TFC fans are like.

They talk about how amazing they are, when in reality they are just pathetic cunts with nothing better to do. If you ever talk to the typical Toronto FC fan then you'd quickly realize that they were the ones who invented supporter groups, they invented chanting and they are the best ticket in Canada. When Toronto FC lose, often times they'll go into mourning like people are currently doing in Warsaw, except this is every fucking week cause the team is shit. The sad part is, I've partied hard with many players on that team and despite beging complete shit, a lot of those guys (Garcia included) were absolute class guys to be around. Yet, the fans claim to be better than Jesus himself. They bring these big ass drumbs and consistantly bang it throughout the full 90 singing songs that are out of tune and jumping around.

I'm not sure about you but when I attend a sporting event I want to feel as though I'm away from work and have no responsibility. These fans look down on you when you decide to get drunk. Who the fuck does that? No I don't want to sing your shitty ass french songs, I want to down 5 pints and watch horrible soccer and hope that I see some eye-candy in-between. I'm not here to do work. The greatest thing is, this group of MH students were once the greatest fans in the MLS, then Seattle came. Those Sounder college kids showed them how it's done, time and time again. What's left for TFC Fans? Well the players don't care to play here because they'd much rather be in Europe, the management realizes they make more off major friendlies (Real Madrid) than they would off TFC and the cost of tickets constantly increase despite the team getting shittier by the year. Ques Que Vous Chantez???


Picks will be posted later.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Blog Returns Tomorrow.

Been hammering out a paper on the cognitive aspects of personal identity. I'm dead. Going to lay on this couch with my best friends Stella and Left Hand and do fuck all today. No gambling today either.

Recapping the night:

Cricket:


$300 Mumbai Indians -175= Possible return of $471.43 (L)

$300 Punjab +120 (in game)= Possible return of $660 (W)

NBA:

$100 Chicago Bulls -5.5 (L)

$100 Dallas Mavericks +3.5(W)= Possible return of $190.91

$100 Phoenix Suns +3.5 (L)

$100 Utah Jazz -6= Possible return of $190.91 (W)

$100 Raptors/Hawks over 204= Possible return of $190.91 (W)

$100 Lakers/TWolves Over 200 (L)

$100 Pacers/Cavs over 205.5 = Possible return of $190.91 (W)





MLB:

$50 Giants/Braves over 8 -105= Possible return $97.62 (W)

$100 Mets -135= Possible return of $176.19 (W)

$100 Dodgers -120= Possible return of $180 (W)

$100 Cardinals -105= Possible return of $195.24 (W)

$50 Tigers/Indians over 9 -110 (L)

$50 Jays +124= Possible return of $112 (W)

$100 Yankees -112 (L)

$100 Yankees/Rays over 9 -120= Possible return of $180 (W)

$50 Twins +100= Possible return of $100 (W)

$50 Mariners +138 (L)

Soccer:

$100 St. Patricks -200 (L)

$50 Naval +138 (L)

$100 La Havre -120 (L)

$50 Vitesse -120 (L)

 
Total Wagered: $2350
Total Returned: $2464.69
Total Profit: $114.69
Total Earned to Date: $1296.56

What's Wrong With Toronto Sports Fans: Toronto Raptors

If you've ever had the pleasure unfortunate experience of sitting in the upper-bowl at a Toronto Raptors game then you'll know what I'm talking about. Half of the upper-bowl looks like a busy street in Mumbai and the other half looks like Hong Kong during rush hour. It's little Asia up there and that's what is wrong with the entire fan base, they don't know shit. They came off the boats 5 years ago and instead of doing taxes and making us food in establishments than have a "conditional pass" for various health violations, they attend Raptor games. I'm convinced the majority of Toronto Raptor fans  hate black people.

They dick rode the hell out of Jose Calderon and now they're doing the same with Hedo TurkeyIdon'tknowhowtofuckinspellhisname. If you've ever watched a basketball game then you'd realize that both Hedo and Jose are overpaid Euros with bad attitudes that have no concept of how to play on a team. However, if you've heard a Raptor fan describe them then it was probably along the lines of "I'd let Jose cum on my face and Hedo do me in the ass because they're both so amazing." I'm convinced Toronto Raptors management picked up on the Raptor fans racism and found the whitest players they could get. The only thing black people are good at is basketball, yet the Toronto Raptors have assembled a team comprised of the whitest basketball players ever. Even their one black guy, Chris Bosh, is a video making, youtube loving soft homo that would settle for a jump shot instead of going hard and taking the foul.

However, I have to give credit where credit is due, both the Raptors management and the fans are geniuses. During a playoff game against the New Jersey Nets, the Toronto Raptors urged their fans to wear red and even gave out red jerseys. What did the team wear that day? White. The New Jersey Nets wore red and it appeared as though it were a home crowd for the away team. Brilliant. The team itself are a bunch of pansies that will miss the playoffs this year but Raptor Fans don't care about that, they loved this year's team. The non-defensive playing pussies that played for the Raptors this year often scored 100 or more points. When that happens the entire arena gets free pizza. Yes, Toronto Mumbai/Hong Kong Raptor fans don't care about an under-achieving pussy ass team because throughout the season they were awarded a free slice of pizza. Bring on another 5 years of rebuilding but it's okay, the $2.25 slice of greasy pizza was soooo worth it. Lets Go Raptors Lets Go!

Recapping the Night: Great start, now let's get some consistancy. If cricket goes sour again then I'll hedge again once the opposition is still listed as an underdog.

Cricket:

$300 Bangalore Royal Challengers -162= Possible return of $484.62 (L)
$300 Deccan Chargers +120 (hedge in game)= Possible return of $660 (W)
Soccer:
$100 over 2.5 Goals Liverpool/Benefica -125= Possible return of $180 (W)
$100 over 2.5 Goals Fulham/Wolfsburg -162- Possible return of $161.54 (L)
$100 Draw or Fulham +120= Possible return of $220 (W)
$50 Atletico Madrid +120= Possible return of $110 (L)
MLB:
$50 Dodgers/Pirates over 8.5 +110= Possible return of $105 (W)
$50 Cardinals -110 (L)
$100 Phillies -150 (L)
$100 Phillies/Nationals over 9.5 -125= Possible return of $180 (W)
$100 Blue Jays +144= Possible return of $244 (W)
$50 Tigers +106= Possible return of $103 (W)
$100 Angels -123 (L)
$50 Indians/White Sox over 8.5 -105 (L)
NBA:
$100 Clippers/Kings 0ver 200= Possible return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Cavs +2= Possible Return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Denver -1.5= Possible return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Lakers/Denver over 204.5 (L)

Total Wagered: $1950

Total Returned: $2264.73
Total won: $314.73
Total Earned to date: $1181.90

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Viva La Shut the Hell up and Speak English You Homos

I'll continue bashing Toronto Sports Fans tomorrow but right now I got more important things to deal with. Manchester United are out of the Champions League and while this haunts me, I keep thinking about the one thing that changed the game. The fucking piece of shit son of a prostitute beastiality loving, Franck Ribery decided the outcome of the game. If he doesn't get up and yell at the ref and throw his hands in the air like the French pansy that he is, then Manchester United advance. I've come to the conclusion that the french get off too easy, Paris should be the new Istanbul where people would avoid going even if they were paid. The French are all good for nothing people that make Justin Bieber seem harder than Suge Knight.

Let's start with Canada. I know I promised to not make fun of you anymore, Canada, after those cheques came but why the fuck did you force me to learn this shitty ass language for the first 14 years of my life. Could I get laid speaking this fucking giberish? Je suis eat a dick. Then you have the French all living in one shitty province where they don't have to pay as much for alcohol as I do and on top of that they get MMA events. What the fuck did they do to deserve this? Why the hell didn't you kick these pussies out when they wanted to leave back in the day. Instead I'm forced to learn their shitty ass language and watch them enjoy cheap ass booze. C'mon Canada stop being fucking homos. You fought in 2 World Wars and held your own, surely you could do something about the annoying ass french that plague our society. Enough with the fake french though let's dig deeper into the real French people. Mark Twain once said: "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."

People say Paris is the land of love where people go to vacation and have plenty of sex. Quit lying folks there isn't anyone having sex in Paris. I don't like to formulate opinions on the looks of men but which self-respecting female is going to fuck Franck Ribery. France isn't filled with hot supermodels and fine cuisine The place should be renamed, Little Dakar. It is filled with fucked up Africans running around. Not your typical "Seal" fucked up African, the guy who is banging Hiedi Klum. I'm talking about those fuckers in places like Sierra Leone and shit running around with AK47s shooting 8 and 9 year olds for territory and a bag of spoiled milk. That's what Paris is like, don't let the government fool you. Next time you want to make the world a better place don't punch a French person in the face. Pee in their mouths and find the longest rod you can and shove it up their asses. Or do like my role model Method Man once saidL staple their assholes (no homo) and keep feeding and feeding and feeding them.

Recapping the Night: Shitty night that I will never understand. Bobcats give up a 3 with 1 second left. Detroit lose in extra innings, Mets lose in extra innings, and the Mariners lose in the ninth. Cubs also blew a late lead. The wrong side of almost everything. I'll bounce back.

Cricket:

$100 Rajasthan Royals -138= Possible return of $172.73 (W)
$100 Delhi Daredevils -175= Possible return of $157.14 (L)
MLB:
$50 Chicago Cubs +138= Possible return of $119 (L)
$100 Cardinals -135= Possible return of $174.07 (W)
$50 Mets +108= Possible return of $104 (L)
$100 Yankees +135= Possible return of $235 (W)
$100 Detroit -130= Possible return of $176.92(L)
$50 Seattle +115= Possible return of $107.50 (L)
$50 Dodgers/Pirates over 8= Possible return of $95.45 (L)
NBA:
$100 Denver Nuggets +2 -110 (W)
$100 Utah Jazz -5 -110 (L)
$100 Denver/OKC over 210.5 -110 (L)
$50 Bucks -7.5 -110 (W)
$100 Golden State -1.5 (W)
$100 GS/Wolves over 230 (L)
$100 Bobcats +1 (P)

Total Wagered: $1400

Total Returned: $1066
Total Loss $334
Total Earned to Date: $867.17

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

What's Wrong With Toronto Sports Fans: Toronto Maple Leafs

Leaf Fans you aren't hated because your team has been complete shit for the past 40+ years. You're hated because you are the most unrealistic bunch of idiots out there and at some point most of us in this city who don't support the Leafs wish you all would die with aids. There are two types of Leafs fans. On one hand you have the loyal guys who support their team, realize that they are completely garbage but will support the team through thick and thin with the hopes that one day, they will succeed. Then there are the ones who crowd the bars, talk about how fucking great they are, and everytime the Leafs score a goal they plan the parade.


In the past, the unrealistic assclowns that support the team were just loser white guys. Avoid the white people and you would be able to avoid the typical Leafs fan. However, because Toronto is so amazing shitty, multiculturalism has gotten the best of us. These days the unrealistic Leafs fan planning the parade on Yonge street come in all different shapes, sizes, and from various parts in the world. Punjabis, Chinese, Mexicans, Blacks you simply can't avoid them. They don't go anywhere for a vacation because the money they would spend on a vacation is used to sit in the lower bowl at the Air Canada Centre for a 5-2 loss against the Nashville Predators. They huddle around the television every Saturday night to hear Don Cherry, a failed NHL player and coach who dresses like a homo for attention spew his nationalist bullshit.


Leaf fans I can't lie, if ever I get the chance to see them lift the cup I'd rush my ass to Yonge St. and attempt to have one huge orgy with delusional white girls. However, that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Show some humility and you may be liked a little. Instead you're all a bunch of arrogant pricks like Ron Wilson and Brian Burke. White folks, I'd also advise against going to the Air Canada Centre for a Leafs game next year. With Nazem Kadri in the line-up imagine all the terrorists that are going to pack that place with backpacks just waiting for the right oppurtunity to blow, literally. It's going to be like Kandahar in that motherfucker, everyday. Little Mosque on the Prairie was only the beginning, in 2025 we are all going to be wearing turbans praying to Allah 5x a day. Lord just take me now. (just kidding!)


Recapping the Night: Shitty end in the Mariners game ruined a profitable day but can't complain, could have been much worse.
Cricket:
$200 Mumbai Indians -138= Possible Return of $345.45 (L)
NBA:
$100 Cavs -6.5 (W)
$100 Warriors/Wizards over 219 (L)
$100 Hawks +4.5 (L)
$100 Celtics -7.5 (L)
MLB:
$50 Giants +128= Possible return of $114 (W)
$100 Seattle Mariners +122= Possible return of $222 (L)
$100 LA Angels -126= Possible return of $179.37 (L)
$150 Yankees +132= Possible return of $348 (W)
$100 Yanks/Bo Sox over 9.5 -110= Possible return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Orioles/TB Rays over 8.5 -110= Possible return of $190.91 (L)
Soccer:
$50 Inter +130= Possible return of $115 (W)
$100 Huddersfield -175= Possible return of $157.14 (W)
$50 Inverness -125= Possible return of $90 (W)
$50 Ross County +110= Possible return of $105 (L)
$50 Over 2.5 goals Barca/Arsenal +125= Possible return of $112.50 (W)


Total Wagered: $1500
Total Returned: $1315.46
Total Loss: $184.54
Total Earned to Date: $1201.17
 
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

What's Wrong With Toronto Sports Fans: Toronto Argos

Fuck, it's 3:27am and I was supposed to be finished about 45mins ago and in bed. Instead, I decided to pop one off and I'm very meticulous with my porn so I spent a lot of time searching for the right type. Part 2 of the 5 part series, today we look at fans of the Toronto Argos. It's fitting that once upon a time, the Argos had the biggest weed-smoker in football history because he's a direct representation of their fans, minus the athleticism. See Argos fans live shitty ass lives. A lot of them died because this league has been going on forever so it's almost like a dying breed. The ones that still support the Argos are people who are stupid, or better yet known as Nationalists. In all reality, Argos fans shouldn't even exist but every season there they are cheering on the athletes on the field who everyday wish they were in the NFL.

I once asked Warren Sapp on twitter, why didn't he ever try a shot at the CFL when he still had gas in the tank. His response " Fuck that shit my knees can't deal with that fake turf and it's colder than a miner's ass." I find the latter part of his response disturbing that he knows the temperature inside a miner's ass but for the most part he was accurate. How seriously can you take a league that has 8 teams, and two of the teams share one owner. Seriously, what the fuck? It's like Mark Cuban owning both the Dallas Mavericks and the Atlanta Hawks, what kind of a league is this? One word sums it all up: bush. Yet there are people in this city that support this shit. A sport that completely neglects the run game, is filled with punts, and in most cases you get a free point just for attempting a field goal. Not to mention, the posts are in the middle of the fucking end-zone. Nothing better than a WR trying to run routes and having to avoid a big ass post in the middle of the end-zone.

To be honest I don't know how or why people support the Argos. It isn't cheap, the quality has deteriorated over the years and how much fun could it possibly be winning the championship in an 8-team league. The only logical explanation I could offer is that people support the Argos either have big psychological problems or are virgins with no hope of getting laid anytime soon. To fill this "gap" in their lives they compensate by viewing shitty football in a shitty league.  On a 25 degree day when everyone is at the beach or on the patio getting wasted and eventually getting some tail, Argos fans are at the Rogers Centre cheering on division 2 players and eating over-priced Pizza. Sounds the life people live when they are just waiting to die. Go Argos! and Lions!?

Recapping the Night: America's past-time was good to me.
NCAA:

$200 Butler +7.5 -110= Possible return of $381.82 (W)
$100 Butler/Duke over 128 -110= Possible return of $190.91 (L)
MLB:
$50 Phillies/Nationals under 7.5 +100= Possible return of $100 (L)
$100 Mets -119= Possible return of $184.03 (W)
$50 Dodgers/Pirates over 8.5= Possible return of 94.45 (W)
$50 Chicago Cubs +118= Possible return of $119 (L)
$50 Rockies/Brewers over 7.5= Possible return of $97.62 (W)
$100 SF Giants -126= Possible return of $179.37 (W)
$100 Texas Rangers -137= Possible return of $172.99 (W)
$50 Detroit Tigers +103= Possible return of $101.50 (W)
$100 LA Angels -128= Possible return of $178.13 (W)
Soccer:
$50 Blackpool -110= Possibe return of $95.45 (W)
$50 West Brom -110= Possible return of $95.45 (L)
$100 Leeds +100= Possible return of $200 (W)
$150 Odense BK= Possible return of $232.50 (L)
Cricket:
$100 Deccan Chargers -125= Possible return of $180 (L)

Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $1685.36
Total Profit: $285.36
Total Earned To Date: $1385.71

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

What's Wrong With Toronto Sports Fans: Toronto Blue Jays

The Jays will kick start another losing season today. Perfect timing because throughout the next 5 days I'll dissect Toronto fans of various teams. Let's start with the Toronto Blue Jays. Toronto Blue Jays fans should just be re-named: we're jealous of the Yankees. The ones old enough, relive 1992 and 1993 every season and talk about how great they were. They live in the past and despite the fact that their team is complete shit, they'll just use the excuse we're all heard before: At Least We Don't Buy Our Championships. Most of them don't realize that in 1992 and 1993 the Toronto Blue Jays had the highest payroll in baseball, their small little brains can't think that far back. Despite being completely shit for the past 15+ years their current owners have a net income of $1.26 billion dollars. They dwell on the fact that a few Yankee players have been caught using steroids in the past. They forget to mention Gregg Zaun and Rocket Roger among others were injecting syringes into their asses here in Toronto.

There are a few of them who love baseball and have no problem sitting down for a 12:30pm midweek match against the KC Royals. I have nothing but respect for those guys but for the most part Jays fans are just complete douchebags. They wait until a promotion is revealed in 500 level where they could go for a toonie, get drunk and start shit with real fans. Yankees and Bo Sox fans consistantly pack their games and drown them out in terms of atmosphere and their team has no hope of winning anything for the next 10 years, if not longer. They dwell on the past, most of them have no love for the sport or their team but attend games because sitting in 500 level and shouting at other fans are trendy. If you've ever heard their logic then Jays fans are like Cuba Gooding Jr. in Radio.

Hate to break it to you Jays Fans but it's going to be a long shitty year for you guys, again. It's okay though, everyone remembers how great you were in 1992 and 1993. Some of you will be wearing Philly shirts this year, following the only good thing to come out of your organization in the past 10 years, Doc. It's unfortunate they decided to drop the toonie promotion because the Hot Dogs were the only reason most of you attended games and we can't forget how packed the stadium will be this year. Except when the Yanks, Bo Sox, and Phillies come, attending the Rogers Center this year is as appealing as using the subway system in Moscow. Watch out Argos Fans, you're next.

Recapping the Night: Any Profitably Night is a Good night:
MLB:

$100 Yankees +105=Possible return of $205 (L)
$100 Yankees/Red Sox under 9 -105= Possible return of $195.24 (L)
NBA:
$100 Lakers -6 -110 (L)
$100 GS Warriors +8 -110 (W)
$100 Washington -3.5 (W)
$100 Cleveland money line -105 (L)
$100 Knicks/Clippers over 210 (W)
$100 Wizards/Nets over 189.5 (W)
$100 Golden State/Toronto under 236 (W)
Soccer:
$50 Fulham +105= Possible return of $102.50 (W)
$100 Athletico Madrid -120= Possible return of $183.33 (W)
$50 Auxerre +120= Possible return of $110 (L)
$50 1860 Munich +105= Possible return of $102.50 (L)
$50 Wolfsburg -110 = Possible return of $95.45 (W)
$50 Bohemians Praha +115= Possible return of $107.50 (L)
Cricket:
$75 Kolkata Knight Riders -150= Possible return of $125 (L)
$75 Delhi Daredevils -125= Possible return of $135 (W)
 
Total Wagered: $1400

Total Returned:$1470.83
Total Profit: 70.83
Total Earned to Date: $1100.35



May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.