I'm Blessed.

I told my queen today I said "babe, if I had like a micropenis, so let's say I was 3 inches, would you want to leave?" She dead ass serious said no and I could tell she wasn't lying. (for the record my cock isn't 3 inches but some of y'all already know that, I just wanted her to feed my already inflated ego). So then I started thinking, what the fuck is micro-penis. I know my boy sent me some Howard Stern clip but I don't care to watch another dude's junk all that much unless it's porn and I block it out so I never really understood what a micro-penis was. Today I said fuck it, I'm going to research. So I typed in "micro-penis" in google and I was greeted with endless pictures. I backspaced the fuck out of there and then I got into some forum where dude was bitching. You know I read it and felt fucking sorry for these people. It was a fucking micro-penis support group, these dudes walking around with 1-2.75 inch cocks while erect. Hitting 3 is a dream for these folks.
 

Read this y'all : Depressing Ass Shit. I read that shit and started immediately thanking God. I read another one where dude was married and after kids his wife couldn't take it anymore (understandably) and he was crying and shit. What the fuck could you do with a 2 inch cock? Do these dudes jack off with their thumb and index finger? How the fuck do you even penetrate with a 2 inch dick? There's no sensation in that. Anytime my day is going like shit and I'm losing bets and nothing is going to right, I'm going to say thank you, I didn't end up like those dudes. The fuck did they do to deserve a small dick? Let's be real even a chick who loves you with all her heart is going to change her mind and want some satisfaction.
 

There's no country for these dudes with microdicks. The Red Cross should be helping these people. You can put me in an earthquake, a tsunami, take my house, my car, I could lose my job, I could lose everything I've ever owned but at least I got my dick. These dudes out here born this way, they're lucky to get one sexual experience in their lives. It's so bad I don't even think prostitutes with crack addictions want to hit that. It's some really sad shit, these dudes born pretty much with zero to a slight chance of getting laid in their lives.  Sorry I'm distracted as I'm typing this I'm watching Piers Morgan and they're showing footage of this Japan shit and some motherfucker is taking pictures and walking and shit while the wave was washing him up. Dude really rolled out his camera and started snapping from different angles and shit while everyone took their asses up a hill. The fuck is wrong with these chinks. Back to the dudes with micropenises, if you got one or if you know someone with a 2 inch dick, just tell them/yourselves this: It can't get any worse, you were born at rock bottom, it takes people years to hit rock bottom but you started there, so be happy and realize it really can't get any worse. Pray for these people y'all, they never had a proper wank in their lives.
 

Recapping the night: After the fact, I know but I forgot to mention, if you're breaking the bank over the NIT, CIT, whatever the other tournament is called, then you shouldn't be gambling lmao. These are light ass plays because the tourneys are equivalent to your son's grade 8 tourney. The real shit starts Thursday.


Plays of the Day:
Alabama/Coastal Carolina over 127 -110 (L)
Clemson -4.5 -110 (W)


NCAA:
N.C. AShville -3.5 -110 (W)
Dayton +5 -110 (L)
James Madison +2 -110 (L)
Vermont/Cleveland St. over 128.5 -110 (L)
Furman +4.5 -110 (L)
Jacksonville/East Carolina over 131 -110 (W)
Hofstra +2 -110 (L)
Air Force/ North Dakota over 124 -110 (W)
Hawaii -1.5 -110 (game not over yet)

NBA:
Mavs -1 -110 (L)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

More Faggotry

So I got a BlackBerry. I didn't want to do it but I did, now I feel like a faggot. For starters, I did it so I could access my email 24/7 so when my future baby mama in 2019 hits me up I could respond in a timely ass fashion and so I could get scores when I'm not at a computer. Peep this though, due to some flaws in the system I've been paying $7 month for my plan since 2003. I think that's 50 weekday minutes, 250 texts and unlimited received texts. Now I'm paying $37/month and got mbs and kbs and shit. Nigga I just need this shit for pussy, to help my friend and in case I'm being shot at.Oh before I forget, any of y'all could fuck with me now here's my pin: 2607FC8C

I'm an old fashion dude I grew up on that shit where you had to put your finger in the hole (get your mind out the gutter) and spin that shit around and around. Now I'm dealing with SMS, MMS, BB Pins and email. I don't care for none of this shit. Why are people addicted to it, it don't suck your dick, most of y'all don't use it to make money so it can't be that. This shit won't get you pussy cause my 12 year old cousin got one, I just can't see the infatuation. I'm trying not to be cynical but I wake up in the morning and some chick from the American midwest sends me an e-greeting card almost every single morning and that makes my day. I grab some oatmeal and laugh at people with my boy Razza that makes my day. I tease Abi about her mom in a bathing suit, that makes my day. I holla at my girl Hope and she tells me she milked a cow and how she'd straddle my cock and that makes my day. Then my twisted nigga Cheebs will tell me how his piss smelt like period blood. Lastly my friend Mouse will hit me up and try to make me jealous cause she wants my dick and I'll tell her to fuck off and I have fun doing that, it makes me happy. It's beneficial to me, this blackberry shit ain't shit. I don't get it, niggas lose their wife and kids over it, shit's real.

All it is, is a motherfucking phone with internet. Big fucking deal. As I'm typing this right now I bet you there are 5 dudes losing their wives over this because they're addicted. It's the lights, the instant email access, the applications, the ability to instantly pay bills, man that don't mean shit. I've had it for 7 hours now and I barely fuck with the thing. I just don't understand how people are addicted. What's so good about it. We're so compartmentalized, so structured, so addicted to social norms, it's like people are consistently hiding something. What is it? What are people avoiding all the time. You see people on the bus fucking around with this shit. I been to business meetings and there's a dude there pissing life away talking to people about nothing on this shit. You sit in the back of class and there are always 30 people doing all sorts of shit with this thing. Now that I have one I don't get it. You'd swear this thing is crack to some people and people lose so much shit with intrinsic value because of it. Yet like the dude at the store said, by next year everyone will have to fuck with this Data shit that costs $30+ a month, the only people winning right now are corporations, fuck technology.

Recapping the Night:  3-4, Sixers had it, this one stings a bit.

NCAA:
Buffalo +1.5 -110 (W)

NBA:
Clippers/Grizzlies over 202 -110 (L)
Denver +3 -110 (W)
Spurs +4.5 -110 (L)
Suns +7 -110 (W)
Sixers -1.5 -110 (L)
Golden State +1 -110 (L)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

A Eulogy For A Friend

For starters, I'm always on the grind, check my article on the website www.intheot.com if you're interested : Concussions and Trauma.

So another installment of the fucked up life of yours truly. I have this alcoholic friend who hates the world (shit, he sounds similar to me minus the alcoholism part) and he swears he's going to die in the near-future. A few months ago he asked me to write his eulogy and he insisted I speak at his funeral. I never gave it much thought but he's progressively gotten worse and it's only a matter of time before organ failure sets in so tonight I figured i'd give it a go. If he wants me to speak at his funeral these are the exact words that would come out of my mouth: (everything I say is 100% accurate)

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to mourn, or celebrate, (depending on the side you're on) the death of Nate. Let's call a spade a spade. Nate was a failure in life. He knocked up a chick at 18, made her get an abortion. He often thought about killing his parents. He hated the world and chances are, if you're listening to this, he wanted you dead. I could get up here and talk all this bullshit about how he was a great person but he was alright. Dude was funny as fuck and if not for the alcohol and drugs I'm conviced he'd be an excellent sitcom writer. Instead he spent days lurking various webcam sex websites and cried about past girlfriends. He sucked at video games and spent all his money on hookers or booze. He often said the hookers he plowed didn't allow him to do anal because he was too big so there's an accomplishment for our loved one (no homo) Nate. He didn't take much victories in his life but at least he wasn't a toll booth collector or a border guard, he at least tried to succeed.

He banged some hot heaux without paying them but he was the type of dude that wanted to pay so he didn't have to converse with them. He was a decent cook and if you got to know him like I did, he was a good friend. Deep down he wanted to change he just didn't feel he was worth it. I also contributed to his death. At first I was like "ay nigga slow down." After a while I knew it was false hope so I started telling him to drink more and speed up the inevitable process. He went from beer to vodka and cranberry juice. Sometimes I'd join him. After that he spent most of his money on a variety of alcohol and would make Long Island Ice Teas at 5 shots per drink. He'd have a few of those, then some weed, then some pints. By midnight he wanted us all dead and often gave me elaborate descriptions as to how he was going to kill people. Because I'm an asshole, I encouraged it. He even told me, when he shot people up, he'd be wearing my blog url on a t-shirt so I could get publicity, that's how considerate the guy was.

He had mental problems (as do most of us) so who are we to judge. He enjoyed threatening people and even had a brief rap career under the name "B.O.B." (Bend over Bitches). At this point I bet some of you think I'm lying so here, I'm going to play/link his hit song Peaches In A Can. He tried to seek help on a few occasions but they told him that generic shit that no one wants to hear and the meds they gave him stopped him from getting erections so he said fuck it. But he's still my homie. He spent his nights crying to love scenes in various movies and everyday him and I would bang this song called "Dance Wiv Me-Dizzee Rascal" and laugh at British people. Don't cry for this nigga cause right now he's in Purgatory listening to Lady Gaga and Fall Out Boy eating Cheese-Strings and Vienna sausage in a can. He wasn't shit, but realer than most, so I'm going to do a line off a hooker's ass tonight. I suggest you all do the same. Peace. 

Recapping the Night: Thank you NBA, once again. 

 Play of the Day:
 Kentucky +2 -110 (W)

 NBA:
 Raptors -1.5 -110 (L)
 Raptors/Bobcats over 198 -110 (L)
 Milwaukee/Boston over 179.5 -110 (L)

 NCAAB:
 Dayton/Richmond over 125.5 -110 (L)
 Penn St/Ohio St. over 126 -110 (W)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Blog Returns Monday.

Recapping the night: 5-4-1

Play of the Day:
Kentucky/Alabama over 129 -110 (W)
Dayton/St Joes over 127.5 -110 (L)


NCAA:
Memphis/UTep over 130.5 -110 (W)
Florida -3 -110 (W)
Dayton -6.5 -110 (L)
Ohio St./Michigan over 128 -110 (W)
Arizona +2.5 -110 (W)
Kent St +0 -110 (L)
U Conn/L'ville over 135 -110 (Push)
Princeton/Harvard over 129.5 -110 (L)

Reasons I Hate The World.

1) Tokyo has a population of 35.5 million people. 1000 of em lost their lives yesterday but I'm wrong for calling that a blessing in disguise. 

2) Just to put it in perspective, 18,000 people were murdered in Johannesburg last year but you won't find 24 hour news coverage on that.

3) New Orleans looks like shit, the midwest-northeast American Manufacturing belt looks like shit but that dumb Terrorist-Nigga-Cracker president will send loot to Japan.

4) Japan is the 3rd largest economy in the world, they'll be just fine. I could name 10,000 places that won't be though and will never get the sufficient help they need. 

5) Charlie Sheen is still alive (yup I said it) 

6) It's March 12th 2011 and there's still fucking snow on the ground.

7) Being sober fucking blows. Yes I need alcohol to have a good fucking time I admit it, enhances everything and makes the ugly and dumb ones much more tolerable.

8) The NFL owners are being irrational with this 18 games season bullshit.

9) When I asked a chick "how much does her pops make?" her response was " I don't know, how much do people usually make?" She wasn't playing either, dead ass serious. Note to self: If they are born after 1992, show them the door. (she's legal age of consent for any of the feds watching)

10) Justin Bieber is still alive (yup I said it) 

11) Curling and Poker are still prominent prime-time shows shown on various sports networks here in Canada

12) This: My Gay Ass School (this video depicts why we won't amount to shit) 

13) I just watched Cast Away again and was envious. Dude was all happy and shit, had his volleyball, did his thing in "splendid isolation" as my boy likes to call it. Came back to the world and put up with bullshit and more bullshit.

14) Black people still make excuses for why they won't amount to shit by the time they can read and white. (My mommy says the white man had us as slaves so as a consequence of this, I'm going to sell drugs and become a shitty ass rapper) 

15) I had a big play over 121 Wisconsin/Penn St. That shit didn't even hit 70.

16) I know someone who has devoured at least 40 cocks in her lifetime; and she'd still make a better wife/mother than most of the people I know.

17) The fact that I know, deep down in my heart, someone reading this blog would hit this given the chance: A Picture That Depicts My Blog Demographic.

18) I was talking to somebody fairly recently and he said "You and I are about the same size, we discussed this before" when talking about my penis. It's not the fact that we discussed it, I remember how that happened, but I don't even know the measurements of my own dick how the fuck does he remember a drunken convo 3 years ago. 

19) While people are buried under rubble right now trying to get out, someone just miles away is having sex with a robot in a shitty Japanese apartment.

20) Katy Perry just doesn't do it for me anymore, she's fucking wack and annoying. However, if you're a chick and your reading this, chances are you aren't wack and annoying and you could have the pleasure of blowing my penis anytime. Unless you're under the age of 17, over the age of 52 (that's a fair number if you ask me, some hot grandma's need loving too)

Not that it means anything but prayers goes out to the families of those who lost loved once in that Japan shit.

Recapping the Night: I knew this was coming, that Wisconsin game was something else though: 7-10

Plays of the Day:
Northwestern/Ohio St. over 138 -110 (L)
UConn/Syracuse over 135.5 -110 (W)
Wisconsin/Penn St. over 121 -110 (L)


NBA:
Celtics/Clippers over 190 -110 (L)
Pacers +1 -110 (L)
Jazz +1 -110 (L)

NCAA:
Georgia +0 -110 (L)
Boston College +4 -110 (L)
Michigan +3.5 -110 (W)
Michigan/Illinois over 125 -110 (L)
Tulsa/Texas El-Paso over 133.5 -110 (L)
Michigan St/ Purdue over 130.5 -110 (L)
Akron -2 -110 (W)
Arizona +0 -110 (W)
Kent St./Ball St. over 132 -110 (W)
San Diego St. +0 -110 (W)
Boise St. -2.5 -110 (W)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

The JJ Break-Up Plan

So the time has come, she's wack and you can't stand her anymore and you want to kick her ass to the curb. How do you do it? For the record men aren't supposed to break up with women. You're supposed to do dumb shit until she leaves your ass, men don't refuse the box for anything else. I only broke up with one chick cause she was insane and went through my emails and said she'd kill herself or some dumb shit.  I told her "alright well before you off yourself just know that you're doing that as a single person. Then I told her to listen to this: The Break-Up Song while killing herself" Yet I'll admit, sometimes there is a point of no return and you just have to cut the cord. It isn't easy and requires a lot of thought so here's various steps you could take that would make the process easier: 

For the Asshole- If you use social networks such as facebook just change your status from "in a relationship" to "single." It's the one great thing facebook is good for, you never have to speak to the chick in person. When she asks just tell her "it is what it is" and that's that. If you don't fuck with the social networks then call her or text her " It's over, I found someone else, K Thanks For everything, bye!" People perceive you as an asshole for doing this but why the fuck should you put yourself in a position of awkwardness. If you do it in person then ask yourself, what benefit am I getting from this? Will she suck your dick after you drop the news? No. Will she send you money? No. Will She cook you a hot meal? No. She'll cry and/or get physical. The fuck you putting yourself in that position for, I don't care if you were with her for 40 years, don't place yourself in that gay ass position.

Face to Face- Yet because of societal norms, some of y'all insist on breaking up face to face. If you're an asshole then get some head first. Here's how to successfully break-up with a chick in person. You have a 10 minute window of "numbness" before she starts thinking irrationally and acts on her impulses. When you go to visit her, bring a box of assorted cookies or chocolates. Why? because no one hates this shit, even if they hate one, that shit comes with such a big variety that it's going to comfort her. Drop the news and say "I think I should leave." Get the fuck out. You wack dudes that stay to watch her cry and shit, nah, the fuck can you gain from that. She's already formulated opinions about your ass and hates you, get the fuck out. 

The Golden Treasure- Some of y'all are lucky. She's so insecure or she loves you so much that she'll sink to new levels of desperation. If she starts getting desperate, cash the fuck in. Be realistic, it won't last but at least you get to milk the cow (no pun intended). She might say "no no no please don't" and act like a pathetic ass loser, don't get it twisted, she is a pathetic ass loser but cash in. She'll offer to buy you video games, give you sex on demand, give into a 3some, cook you whatever you want and do shit you wouldn't even hire Mexicans for. Cash in, she'll come to the realization that you aren't shit and you're not worth it and will leave your ass soon enough but at least you benefited from the break-up. 

Recapping the night: 11-9 with a crapload of close games.

Plays of the Day:
Knicks +6 -110 (L)
Syracuse -2 -110 (W)


NBA:
Lakers/Heat over 188 -110 (L)

NCAAB:
Miami/Virginia over 121.5 -110 (W)
Auburn/Georgia over 125 -110 (L)
UConn +5.5 -110 (W)
Syracuse/St. Johns over 135 -110 (W)
Northwestern -1 -110 (W)
Iowa/Michigan St. over 130 -110 (L)
Texas/Oklahoma over 130.5 -110 (L)
Notre Dame -2 -110 (W)
Cincy/Notre Dame over 132 -110 (W)
Penn St. -4 -110 (W)
Penn St/Indiana over 129 -110 (L)
Marshall UTep over 137 -110 (W)
Utah/San Diego St. over 126 -110 (L)
Missouri/Texas A&M over 136.5 -110 (W)
Tulsa -5 -110 (W)
Vanderbelt -13 -110 (L)
Air Force/UNLV over 123.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Things I Admire About White People

I can no longer watch sports that I have big money on, in its entirety. I could watch a bit but then I start sweating and my heart starts to race so I watch nonsense. Today I was watching Teen Mom and even though it is the gayest show on television, it made me realize why I fuck with most of y'all white people. Here's a list of things I like about the white race:

The Bed Sheets- White people sleep with a regular ass sheet, then a blanket over the regular ass sheet. Blacks are lucky if they got any sheets at all and some of y'all ghetto ass fucks sleep on a mattress with nothing on it. But the white folks had the right idea, those 2 sheets make a big ass difference, it's on some warm and cold scientific shit I can't explain. The sheet and the blanket works and it just makes the night so much better, hotels endorse this idea and it feels fuckin great. 

Brand Names- White people don't fuck with the discounted juice, cookies or chips. They don't fuck with the no-name anything. They buy coke that is fucking made by Coca-Cola, none of that "Equality" or "President's Choice" bullshit. White people buy real chocolate chip cookies, not the shit I get at Giant Tiger. Their bottled water is flavored and they don't get the bootleg chips. They get the chips that are so fucking expensive they got the grooves in em, I think they're called Ruffles. Ya us blacks save a few dollars but you aren't living right until everything in your house is the name brand shit and not the discount crap at the end of the isle. 

The Fact That You Have a Good Chance At Hooking Up With Her Mom- Black women don't cheat as much because of the financial ramifications. But white people cheat all the fucking time. They know if they cheat a few dozen times it won't really matter because they're forgiving ass people. It makes a difference. If you're dating a black chick you have a 0.000000% chance of ever smashing her moms and if you even try then the relationship is over. When dating a white chick you stand a 10% chance at smashing her moms and if you try, she likes you even more and will add you as a friend on facebook. Then you could wank to pics of her in a bikini on family vacations because white women wear whatever the fuck they want to wear.

You Never Have to Ask- When dealing with an ethnic ass chick or whatever the fuck you want to call them, you have to ask before they swallow. If they say no then you have to play the "reassuring ass role" where you make her feel like she's the one for you, then she'll swallow. But white people love that nasty shit. They love to swallow and once she's performing the act, it's already assumed that she'll swallow and therefore you skip the entire process of asking, begging, the awkward pause and the chances of her breaking up with you decreases. 

They Don't Know Shit- Despite being highly educated and hot, white people really don`t know shit. Black people have more common-sense and street smarts. White people are naive to the world and live in a bubble. What does this mean? You tell a black chick that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 to stock up on supplies and she'll kick your ass to the curb. You tell a white person that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 she'll say "oh my God I read about this before, here have $2000." Of course you're going to go spend it on hookers and blow and when she asks about the Comet all you need to tell her is " the trajectory changed and the comet isn't coming so you treated yourself to a mini-vacation and everything is safe."  She won`t even know what trajectory is and will just put her hand on her heart and say "thankfully we're safe, I was so worried." White people got money so they don't care, they're just happy that you're happy and they believe just about anything cause they live in a bubble where they grew up watching the Andy Griffith show, Leave it to Beaver, and The Wonder Years and they think the world is perfect.

Recapping the night: 

Play of the Day:
Knicks +5 -110 (W)
USF/Cincy over 120 -110 (W)

NBA:

Utah Jazz -1 -110 (W)
OKC + 1.5 -110 (W)
Pacers -1 -105 (L)
Spurs/Pistons over 202 -110 (W)

NCAA:

U Conn -1.5 -110 (W)
UConn/Georgetown over 130 -110 (W)
Nebraska -4 -110 (L)
Rutgers/ St Johns over 129 -110 (L)
Hawaii -1.5 -110 (L)
Oregon -1 -110 (W)
West Virginia -1.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.